I let everyone down. I let it happen. Everything is falling apart bit by bit. I honestly don't want to live anymore. It's not so much wanting to die, as not wanting to live. I'm sick of the uphill battles and the bad days. The constant hurt and stress. I can't take anymore. I've already thrown everything away. Smoking too much to escape, calling people I shouldn't be. I find comfort nowhere. Nowhere. I look at people with horrible obstacles in life and they still seem happy. They are better people than I. It's 2015 and all I want is to stop the pain. I'm tired, in pain and I feel so done. This moment may be the lowest I've ever been in my entire life. I try, I try so hard. I pray to God to help me and he ignores my cries.