Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by resistance, Jun 18, 2008.

  1. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Siigh. I can't get out of this rut, I just feel so empty all the time, like there's a big gaping hole and I can't do anything to make me feel complete. I feel like crying constantly, I'm in one of them moods where I feel like giving up. :cry:
  2. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Hugs from me to you.

    What things would need to be added or removed from your current life in order to get to an ideal place?
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Try to exercise, even walking...or do something that will allow you to feel good...cleaning, painting, cooking, anything you like that will allow you to push through...hope you feel better & big hugs, J
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    sorry I can't think of anything constructive to say at the moment, but I just wanted to let you know that I care. :hug: :hug:
  5. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I exercise quite a bit and I can do things I like (sometimes.. different story) but then I hit the brick wall and that's that.

    I want my step-mum back, more than anything. Life at home changed a lot for the worse after she died, it's just so empty.. so quiet.. I miss her so much. I also can't shake off the guilt. The if only's. I know they don't solve anything, but I feel like I deserve the pain I feel, I let her down, it eats me away. Hurts so much. :(

    I want to like myself, I want someone to live near by who I can hug. I want to make people proud of me and I want to be proud of myself. I can't.. I just feel so empty, I can't like myself.

  6. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    :hug: res people are proud of you hun and we well like you no matter what hun, I'm here for you if you wanna talk :hug:
  7. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Mentally exploring what ifs is an exercise in futility, it only brings on more guilt. I don't know the circumstances of your step-mother's passing, but I don't need to: you definitely do not deserve the pain you feel. Mourning her absence and recognizing the subsequent silence that she left behind is normal.

    As for someone to hug, I was under the impression that you had a boyfriend. Yea or nay?

    You have many things to be proud of. Even this casual observer has picked up that you are obviously an intelligent girl, down to earth, a good photographer, and you are compassionate (deduced from the story of the woman who was napping in broad daylight at a bus stop).
  8. Light_In_The_Dark

    Light_In_The_Dark Well-Known Member

    :hug: res. I know you miss your step-mum, but you can't feel the guilt forever, ask yourself would she wanted you to feel like that? And whats the point of you feeling guilty, anyway? Couse you feeling guilty can't change anything to better, it only makes worse to everyone, especially yourself.

    You are an awesome person res, and we are proud of you. We love you res, no matter what. :hug: :hug: :hug:

    You need to do something about that self-hate problem. I found this page that has really nice advices and it can help you: http://www.cyquest.com/pathway/healing_self_hate.html

    Take Care res. We love you! :hug:
  9. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    Thank you guys :) Means a lot. And yes I do have a boyfriend but he doesn't live local, I see him almost every week which I am grateful for but in the meantime I don't have any friends, so to speak, that I can go and see.

    Anyway, thanks, means a lot that you all replied. :arms: