Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by pither, Mar 13, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    Two days ago I was seriously contemplating suicide. I had a plan and I wrote a note. I was ready to go. But I gave myself three days before I acted, just so that I could REALLY think about everything. Lucky for me I made a good decision for once and chose to go to my parents about my problems.

    Now that I'm seeking further help, I just feel completely empty inside. I feel drained like I just swam a marathon. It's like there's noting left of me to heal. I can't keep my thoughts together, I can't take in my surroundings or keep a conversation afloat. It's amazing that I can even type at this point. But to make my situation better there is so much to get done and I just don't have the energy to do it.

    I feel so empty and so exhausted. My breathing is shallow because I simply can't keep on top of it. I'm trying to recover and get well, but I'm struggling to do so. I don't want to be looked at as lazy, but I'm not able to pull my own weight.

  2. christian_1990

    christian_1990 Well-Known Member

    dont listen to depressive music, have a walk everyday, try ur best to do exercise, dont eat too much, maybe a book or articles on internet about depression self steem and such as will help u....thats all i can say right now:sad:
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    You reached out for help and that is bound to be SO exhausting because it will have taken so much effort. Add to that how bad you were already feeling and it's so understandable that you're finding things very hard right now.

    What kind of help are you receiving now?

    Maybe it's time to look after yourself and be kind to yourself because it might help recharge your batteries a bit.

    I tend to find that I have therapy and then I'm wiped out for a couple of days after, and what you have done will have taken so much more effort. It's emotionally tiring when you do these things, but hopefully it will be worth it in the long run.
  4. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    You've done a very brave and wonderful thing. Buying yourself time is certainly a start, and though things have been difficult at least you're alive and now able to change it.

    Little I can say will help, for only you can will yourself to listen to the advice. What Chistiran 1990 has stated is probably your best bet. Take small steps: little things like diet and habit will build up your mood and energy.

    Most of all have patience. As long as you are taking those breaths, however shallow they may be, you have a chance to just suddenly wake up and tackle life. Don't lose hope! If you could escape the verge of sucidem surely you can pull out of this!
  5. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    When we open up and start communicating with people about how we are feeling and what has led us to certain ideas and thoughts and acts, it is draining. Your effort to do these things shows the will to fight. Now give yourself time to gain that strength back. Be kind to yourself and know at least you can do your best to feel better. Over a period of time hopefully the draining feelings of opening up and letting go of what is on your mind will lessen those racing thoughts. Take time to allow yourself for everything to slow down a bit before moving on to the next task you want to accomplish for yourself. Keep reaching out to us and those people who care about you.

  6. SweetSurrender

    SweetSurrender Well-Known Member

    I came to this site just after making the decision you just did. I was at a point where i was going to committ suicide but i made one last call to my sister and that saved me.

    When i came to this site first of all i wasn't going to committ suicide but i was trying my hardest to get over the void of being at that point. I needed to speak to people who understood what that point felt like. I felt as you did, i felt nothing. I wasn't immediately better, there was no frenzy of activity after the actual night itself when i had to go to the emergency room...it was back to a waiting game, a waiting game with health professionals i'd been in before. I really feel for you. Just because i sought help, it didn't make the depression lighter. I felt like you described, i felt pressure to be better, as though admitting i was suicidal was the key to being better, it wasn't. And isn't. But it is the first step. The main thing to do is keep breathing. When i was at the place you were the only thing i could do was that. Don't pressure yourself to immediately be laughing and joking with family. Instead i guess the best thing to do is have a well-earned rest (if at least from having to pretend all the time), because you are ill, and you have told people you are so ill you have thought about killing yourself...they will not be expecting you to be doing cartwheels etc, so you shouldn't expect that from yourself either. The reason you asked for help was that you no longer could pull your own weight. I've learnt it isn't like flicking a light switch, admitting the truth doesn't make it all go away but it is the start of a process....it took me a few months before i said to myself 'ok i'll try this' - and that was just attempting, i wasn't wanting to be successful.
    Hang tight and keep breathing.
  7. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    Thank you for all the support and advice. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this sort of thing at the moment. Noby I know has been through a similar situation-

    The side affects of the new medication I'm on are making it even harder to function. Like I said, there is so much work I have to get my act together. I'm just overwhelmed, it's like drowning in your own life. I just don't know how long I'm going to be able to keep this all up.

  8. xxicedragonxx

    xxicedragonxx Well-Known Member

    i just started on two meds... one for antidepression and one anti seizure that the lady seems to think will work for my bipolar... plus some other thing she gave me to open the neuron passages in my brain or something.

    i havent been able to think straight since i started taking them. its been a week and i am more depressed now than i was before. but now instead of crying i just sit here. i cant let anything out, but i cant make sense of what is inside.

    i feel empty too.... i just hope (for both of us) that this will all wear off... when i told the doctor i was feeling more depressed she said i have to get used to them dose and then they will up it.

    i dont trust them anymore.

    hang in there... i am with you and i feel exactly the same.
  9. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    I glad there is someone who knows how I feel and at the same time I'm sorry you feel so crappy haha. The medication is making my vision all messed up and it's messing with my stomach. I can't keep my train of thought together and making decisions is almost impossible. It hurts me more than when I wasn't on anything. It couldn't have come at a worse time either-

    I told my mom the same thing. She said that it will take time for my body to get used to the change. I hope it all wears off too. You're right, we just have to wait it out and hopefully it will all be worth it in the end-

    Let me know if you need someone to talk to :]

    Good luck

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.