I don't feel like there's anything inside me, and certainly not in my life. I look at people who actually have families that they can complain about, perchance love. I don't have that. I don't have children, I don't have a spouse. I only have one parent, and he is so remote and distant we are not connected emotionally. My friends are distant. I am distant, and I think I have so little relationship-wise because I have spent my whole life being so distant and making myself small. I don't have any real passions. Life feels like an endless expanse of meaningless pass-time. Seriously, what's the point? Had I ever had a child, were I capable of having a child... If I ever though I could find a mate.. And without that, I will never really have any family. When my father passes away, I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. He is the only reason I put up with life, because I know he would be devastated if I died before him. After he goes, fuck it, I say... Unless I can find something to fill this hole before then, I'm out around the time he goes. ---------- Post added 4th January 2012 at 01:28 AM ---------- Previous post was 3rd January 2012 at 11:35 PM ---------- This place is empty, too. Seems like one of the most inactive forums I've been on. I'm always surprised when I come back three hours later and see no one has made a new post/thread anywhere. I don't know if I'm that patient. I like active sites better.