end it all?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by morning rush, May 9, 2009.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    why can't I take my life, Im in so much pain and I'm just too tired to get over the depression. I have nothing to look forward to and I have nothing to offer anyone. My life is worthless...why can't I just end it all?
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    I'm sorry to hear you are still hurting so much. I think the fact that you are still here proves you have something left,you're here for a reason. Please hold on ,I hope it gets better for you,

    you can pm me anytime if you need someone to talk or just need someone to listen :arms:
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. We're all here trying to figure it out! Please continue to post or send me a private message. I will respond. Have you tried therapy or prescirption meds.? Many of us here have been helped with a combination. Stick around with us us awhile and continue to post or vent.

    You can make some great contacts and/or friends here. There are so many caring, insightful people to talk to.
  4. Blue bell

    Blue bell Active Member

    wanted you to know i am hearing you and am sorry you are hurting so much.

    keep posting and telling us how you feel, we are listening and wanting to support you

    Blue bell
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I do take meds, although right now one was reduced and another was risen. I've had therapy since I was 15 but now I'm tired of telling my story..I don't think that's what I need anymore...

    I just don't understand why I can't overcome all those feelings...why is it so hard for me and that every time it comes it feels like a huge mountain impossible to climb...

    Why can't I be like everyone else? I just don't understand it...
  6. tls5669

    tls5669 Active Member

    Ill try as best as I can.

    I feel exactly the same as you, so your not in that boat alone. I know why I hang on, the only advice I could give you is hold on for hope, as corny as that sounds there is hope for everyone, even me someday. If you ever need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on pm me ill talk to ya.

    Heres a hug for ya........:hugtackles:
  7. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. Keep trying with the meds. Sometimes it takes awhile to find the right combination. You'll find some wonderful people here.:console:
  8. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I've been thinking about ending it but at the same time I've been questioning myself as to is it what I really want...I don't know why during the day I get these flashes of how I could die...I think it takes courage to live on but I also think it takes guts to end it as well...I make no sense in the way I think...every thought contradicts the other...I dont know what to think anymore...
  9. Ben121

    Ben121 Active Member

    Ive only read your posts in this thread but my god you sound like me.

    I too live alone. Have done for many years now and I don't see that changing any time soon. I don't work ether cos of a back that's got a spin that's twisted up all over the place.

    You make perfect sense to me. It dose take courage to live even though I would like the pain to end and the loneliness I feel to end I would not like my life to end. I do wish I had the guts to end it though. But like you I do not. It would take moor balls then I have to end it. No matter how I think of ending it I can not come up with a full proof plan that would involve no pain.

    You do come across has a really nice person tho :hugtackles: Stay strong.
  10. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Doesn't your success at writing give you any reason to continue? You are incredibly talented.
  11. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    sometimes it does. I think about my stories and I think I want to finish writing them before ending it. When I recieve good feedback it helps me as well. Writing is a big part of my life, I love it.

    Lately I've been thinking that if I do die, people wouldnt know and I might rot in my bed, and my guinea pigs might starve to death. I don't want my piggies to die so that keeps me alive strangely enough.

    Sometimes I think that I dont really want to die, but I dont want to live either...I'm caught in between...
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