Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by tammylynn, Oct 28, 2011.
I just want to end it all ~ it's just getting too hard to pretend anymore.
What are you pretending? That you are OK? Happy?
I know the feeling Tammy..feeling like a hypocrite all the time. On the outside showing that you are all smiles and ok and on the inside the feeling of despair, dieing inside, eating you up. I've been there Tammy. You have to talk about it ok. you have to let it out. People have to accept you for you and that's just it. It will reveal to you who are the ones that truly care for you and want to be there for you. Everyone on this forum wants to know what is going on in your life and help and support you as much as possible. Talking things out or even journalling helps get things off your shoulders. I hope when you are comfortable with talking about it that you will let us know what is upsetting you.
Take care of yourself ok.
Hey Tammy, When I came here I was in the same boat..I hadn't hardly spoken to anyone in fourteen years.. Holed up in my bedroom 24/7..Then I found this forum and started opening up.. I made some friends and we carried it outside of the forum.. Now we email each other so we are free to speak our mind..I mean the forum is great but you have to follow the rules.. When you start opening up you will feel so much better..
I just feel like nothing matters anymore. I try to do things right and I am constantly told what I did wrong. Right now I am just numb, I can't even taste what little food I force myself to choke down. I'm just tired of pretending that everything is alright, that things don't bother me.
:hug: I'm truly sorry you're feeling this way. Are you on medication or anything, in therapy?
I get this. For as much as people say they care, the truth is they don't want to deal with your pain. They would feel better if you lied and pretended everything was ok rather than take you as is and try to help you continue to live. It really sucks.
Who's telling you your wrong?? If you put foruth an effort then you tried thats all anyone can ask of you.. As long as you keep trying you will never be a failure..Have you tried talking with a therapist?? They can teach you copeing skills..It takes time though.. It's not an over night fix..You will have to build a bond with them..Remeber what I said you are not a failure!!!
I'm on meds ~ I have a pdoc. I have tried therapy but it didn't help.
My husband is constantly criticizing me. If I do something he will find something to point out that I didn't do or didn't do right. He's always pointing out that I am overweight. When I react in any way negative he just says he's teasing and if he can't tease me who can. It is really hurtful and it does nothing for my depression.
In your state of mind, any derogatory remarks would hurt and as women, comments on our appearance can be very hurtful. Have you try to talk to your hubby about what he says hurt your feelings. maybe I would take the opportunity of a calm moment with him and be frank about it. Dont do it in the heat of anger, it just make things worst. Try to prepare answers to his reply and repeat the scenario in your head a bunch of times before you do it for real. It might not sink in at the first try. You may have to repeat that what he says make you feel awful. But believe me, it works. My husband can be quite critical as well, and not in a good ways, but over time, it got much, much better.
hey tammy, I know the feeling, I have found this site very helpful though and to open up to people, my boyfriend does that to me a lot as well. but it is always good to have a serious conversation to someone who you are close to, though personally i find talking to strangers easier, but hang in there!!!! if you need to talk I am a great listener. I hope things get better for you!