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End of the road....?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Enfys2824, May 22, 2016.

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  1. Enfys2824

    Enfys2824 Member

    Have tried to keep going for someone else's sake.... but feel like I've come to the end of the road. The need to be here vs the desire to go, tearing me apart.

    AD's no longer help.
    GP referred me back to CMHT who have already discharged me 3 times saying they cannot help me.
    Have been in and out of counseling for 3 years (when I can afford it) and feel all talked-out - talking no longer helps.

    I don't feel there is an answer except to take myself out of the equation. I know that no one else can wave a magic wand and make everything alright - but if all I've got to rely on is myself, then I'm totally screwed..! No longer trust my own judgement. Can't make decisions, so leave myself open to manipulation by others, which always ends badly.

    Just want to sleep and not wake up. So tired. Exhausted.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hear you i really do i understand the fight to stay for others and the want to leave. Perhaps your doctor can talk to the CMHT and let them know they should not be discharging you even if they are there to just listen it helps to know you are not alone I am sorry people are manipulating you and not stepping in to help you and protect you.
    Keep talking here ok although i am like you in the same fight being here it helps to be able to just release some of the emotions you are feeling there is always hope just we cannot see it because of all the darkness we are in.
    MisterBGone likes this.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome to the forum. Can the GP try a different anti depressant on you? You need to be patient (excuse the pun) as it can take a long time to find the right medications that work for you. What kind of counselling were you in and did it help at the time?
    I totally get what you mean by ''can't make decisions'', I'm the most decisive person you will ever meet lol Joking aside we are here for you so please keep talking to us and know and believe that we do care!
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