I've been depressed for quite a while now, and cant see myself getting better. Lately the thoughts and urges to commit suicide have been stronger and stronger, and results in me doing stupid a few nights ago. It didnt work though and I'm still here to continue with this hell. I dont really know whats wrong with me, things are not really that bad for me but I just cant see the good in anything at all. I cant seem to get any better and so now I have given up hope of it ever happening. I think that being in hospital would probably be the safest thing for me at the moment but I dont know how to go about that, I'm too scared to go alone. I dont even know what I'd say if I went to A&E to ask for help, I dont want to have to explain to a receptionist. I really want help to get better, but I am just too scared to ask for it. I hate the feeling of trying something and it not working, it makes me feel like I have failed and makes me feel even worse. The doctor is trying to help, but its just not working. I feel guilty when something doesnt work, like I'm wasting their time. I have the doctors tomorrow but I dont know whether to tell her about the other night or not, it might just worry her and since there is nothing she can do to help me I dont see the point in doing that. I dont know what to do anymore, I feel like its the end of the road for me.