Ive been in a LDR with a girl from england since December. I dont know what to write.... ok so....Ive loved her. We've fell out a few times. But we've got it sorted in the past. We both have some problems but we helped eachother out. I thought she loved me too, and she did. I asked her if she would be with me for ever. She told me she would and she loves me and would do anything for me. I dont know what i did... well... one night, i called her and she told me she was at her friends house. So we went on webcam and we had a great night. Ill never forget that night. It was one of hte best of my life! If i was with her, id have done more than just flirt with her. We shared everything with eachother. I was an open book to her. And then...she went on a 5 day trip and came back totally different. Its meant to build confidence, but it did more. I dont understand. She claims its to do with the friends around her. However. I was talking to her friend today (Katie) who was also on the trip, she told me nearly everything that happened. And i was thinking "Thats not what **** said" i asked her about what **** done and she said Hardly anything and the guides had to help her out, and noone there really liked her. Katie had one of their e-mail addresses and sent me what this guy said. She said "Do you know my mate who went on the trip" he said "What mate?" she said "the one you were spreading stuff about" "oh trollop" she said "Nah didnt like her" and gave a reason. Yet **** seems to be completely obsessed with this place! on top of that. Shes been going out with a guy since friday (when she came back) (I think, or Katie thinks) but she is going out with someone. So i was on webcam to Katie. She asked me if i wanted her to call her, i said "Umm what would you say" and she told me and i agreed. Katie asked "Are you going out with someone" after a long silence **** said "Yeah, why" "Oh who" at this point i was on my desk crying (oh this is before i knew she lied to me) "..................tom, why" Katie smiled at me, i wondered why. I was thinking "How could you be smiling?" And katie gave her an excuse. at this point i had had enough of **** bullshit. Last night she sent me a text which seemed like she'd bring me back. So i ran away from katie and went to james'. James is my bestest friend lol. But he doesnt understand how i could be in an LDR, usually he cheers me up without knowing hte problem. Today he didnt. infact he made me feel worse and i left with tears in my eyes. I called **** twice hiding my number, but i could talk to her. Then i called her the third time and said "Why." and she said because we were so far away. I asked her why she sent me that text. She told me it was because she still had feelings for me but wasnt sure they were strong enough. And i started crying, She said "Aww i feel bad now" i thought she was feeling bad before. heartlessness Well then i started talking to Katie and she told me the truth about everything. **** didnt get the job in Tescos like she told me. Im thinking she only done it because shes either, A. In denial or B. Wants to make me feel jealous. or C. both. And about Tom. Hes a **** who is using her. at the camp thing he was just trying to get a girl and **** was so desperate for a hug she is now dating him. Katie was even asked. I dont feel so bad anymore because i know their relationship will fall to pieces, and she'll want me. But, im not going back to her. I truly loved her. I would have done anything for her. I was always there for her when she was down. I have never let her down. I gave her a nice big gift for her bday a week early. I know ive done nothing wrong, but i feel like i have. I feel like a part of me has been ripped out. But im going to be single for a while, im fed up of heart break, and wasting money on people who will just leave you. And from now on, im gonna trust my paranoia and im going to expect my hopes and dreams to get crushed, and im just waiting for the rest of my deepest fears to become a reality too. P.S sorry for text brick, i know the majority of you wont read this.