ended.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by pither, Jul 11, 2009.

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  1. pither

    pither Well-Known Member

    A sad reality just hit me tonight as I fought with the one person I had in this whole world. The idea that all people, everyone in this whole entire puss filled earth is going to disappoint me at one time or another. Of course I knew this, I just always help onto hope that my one person would never hurt me or cause me pain like he has. Most will say that this is a lot to place on one man's shoulders, that my expectations could never be met. They're right, I will always be miserable in the end, I will always be hurt or let down or forgotten at one point or another. That's how the world works, that's just how man kind is. And that is why I have to go, that is why I can't stay here anymore. I can't handle the fact that I drive everyone away. I can't continue in this society with the expectation and feelings I have. It's just not healthy, for me or my so called loved ones.

    I want to lay in a warm bath with my music playing and just go into a never ending sleep, a sleep that can protect me from all the pain people cause me. I want to be in a place where I don't have to worry about how I look or what I say. I want to be free from all this. So that's why I end it.
     
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    This is probably not going to be helpful advice Em but I came to this realisation recently also.
    After one last full blown hurrah... I gave in. Not suicide - I gave up on people.

    I'm sure millions will say I am ridiculous and that you cannot do that, but at this point in time it is the only thing that makes sense to me.

    I cannot take their shit and they obviously cannot take mine. I cannot pile the world onto somebody because they are not a machine and humans love to disappoint.

    But what I can do is build up my own strength so that I never have to again.
    So for the foreseeable future, I decided to do this on my own, become a recluse. I threw my phone into the river, I deleted all of my Email address, I deleted my facebook, I changed my home number, I locked the double doors and took the doorbell off.
    If I could move house I would but it wasn't an option.
    You see, nobody is going to find me, nobody is going to see me and nobody is going to know me. Not until I know how to be alright with being me. Thats when I can be okay with other people and if they disappoint me, shrug it off.

    I know that mentality is not for everybody. The life of a recluse is a lonely life. But sometimes it can help. It helps with those feelings of "ARGH people! Why do you constantly hurt me and shit down my neck I am so sick of people. I love you and you fail me'.

    Well if those people aren't around, how can they do anything at all to me?

    Don't end it all over this. You can come back stronger and try again, maybe slowly putting your trust back into humanity when you can deal with them a little better.
    That is how I am going to try it. It may take forever, it may never happen. But it's a risk you gotta take.
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Never give in never let them win you are stronger than the ones that hurt you. Do not give them the satisfaction of winning show them you are better than all of them Get angry use that anger to pull you toward something someone better. Yes most people are cruel but to these people they will get what they deserve in the end what goes around comes around. You stay strong and fight for you the hell with everyone right now fight for you only because you deserve the fight.
     
  4. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

    please reconsider hun :hug: it's not worth it, there are so many people out there that could make you happy and yes, sometimes things do go wrong but it's not your fault and you shouldn't blame yourself for it! :smile: if you ever need to talk feel free to PM me ok :heart:
    triggs xx
     
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