I so badly want to die. I have a plan, the means to carry it out, I've had it all sorted in my head for a while now, but I set a date in the future as I thought I'd feel better then. The thing is, that date is coming up and I don't feel any better, in fact I feel worse. It's all to much to cope with, I don't want to live anymore. I can't seek help due to my situation so in holding it all inside. I really don't want to hurt the 2 people that truly love me, but I can't be with them and it's killing me. I miss them so much. Nobody else would notice if I wasn't here, my family would probably be relieved that I'm not their problem anymore. I feel that I have to do it because I've set that date and nothing is any better.