ending the tornment

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by among the stars, Jan 2, 2012.

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  1. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    ending the torment

    i havent posted in awhile and still dont really know what to say...really dont want anything to do with people and yet i come into chat (most nights) anyways. still in pain, headaches getting worse, joint pain especially in my knee. back and neck pain, stomach all fucked up. still seriously think about suicide....as recent as few minutes ago...im tired of everything, getting yelled at by my family, having no freedom to do what i love, have to lie 99.9% of the time when i leave the house, learned to hate my grandmother, i lost all my sisters here because of my stupidity, lost my friends (not that i had very many) in RL...i wont let anything out, i have so many memories that i wanna just die to end the torment...and then on top of that i try to help people and only end up hurting them. i never used to care who was friends with whom and who my friends hung out with but with everything that has happened (both my fault and others) i get so agaitated, and angry, and betrayed....i never used to be like that.
    honestly everyone would have been better off if i had committed suicide earlier, i still want to. its still seriously on my mind...everyone is asleep they would never miss me. i dunno if anyone would be happy but maybe just maybe they would see that i wasnt ok all those years that telling me to 'just ignore' how grammie treats me...forget how much mental pain she inflicts....maybe theyd see how impossible that was....honestly i wanna go back out there and die
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 2, 2012
  2. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Re: ending the torment

    I'm sorry you're hurting.

    I care, and hope you will continue to post.

    This is a safe place, and you're welcome here
     
  3. among the stars

    among the stars Well-Known Member

    Re: ending the torment

    im sorry i posted what i did last night...i knew better than to do that.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Re: ending the torment

    Hun you can post the pain away here hun okay don't hold it inside hugs
     
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Re: ending the torment

    Sorry to hear that you are hurting badly right now hun. But you must know that no one would be happy if you ended your life. You may not see it now but your family would be devastated. If your grandma is causing you such emotional pain and torment you really need to tell someone about it. If you are in school, speak to a counsellor and don't be afraid to do so. If you aren't at school there are a number of hotlines you can call to discuss it, if you feel confident in doing so. You have us here for support whenever you need it also. But the top thIng I would suggest would be to speak to a doctor about how you are feeling. If you are suffering emotional abuse, therapy would help with the scars it leaves. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. Reach out, embrace it and use it. You help so many people here Hun, don't be harsh on yourself. Be proud that you are a kind, compassionate person.
     
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