Endless War

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by innocencexisxlove, Jan 3, 2012.

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  1. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    So here I am... Back to the forum...

    Never thought I'd end up here again, at least not in need of help.. But this is my last resort. I have no one left to turn to... I'm very very scared and I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

    After crying and debating for about three hours now, I want to do it. I've tried talking to people but no one can help me....

    I've collected so many bad habits that it's only a matter of time before they get out of hand and I'm dead anyway.. So what's the point???

    I feel so unloved.. So unwanted.. I need that love in my life to make me feel like I have a purpose. Right now I feel useless. And don't get me started on how much I hate myself...

    I've been fighting this battle for 8years now... They all say it's going to get better, but I see no light at the end of this dark tunnel... It doesn't even look like a tunnel anymore. It's more of a abyss.. I'm trapped with no way out...

    Except one way.

    I guess I'm posting here as a last resort... A last cry for help... I feel like this is the only way I'll ever finally be happy: dead.

  2. Morningstar

    Morningstar Well-Known Member

    I'm feeling the same way, almost the same amount of time for me too, you never know though I guess, I have seen a lot of messed up people make it lately.
  3. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    I just wish I could find a better solution... But I fear this is all I can do to end the pain and suffering I have.
  4. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I am so sorry you are feeling badly, I didn't see this until now.

    How are you doing now? I understand the frustration of the battle. I really do. It gets exhausting at times.

    Are you in therapy or have some sort of mental health support?

    Sending my best to you. :hug:
  5. ZasuArt

    ZasuArt Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're struggling, ((Rachel)). I am just starting to see a tiny glimmer of hope shining through my own darkness, so I won't pretend to have all the answers. Just know that you are among friends here, and I am one of them. For what it's worth, I care, and I believe that there is hope, even if it's impossible to see right now. Sending hugs and friendship...T :console:
  6. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    Thank you T :hug: It's really appreciated.

    I'm not in any kind of therapy currently. I used to go to therapy and was on prozac, but I stopped because I had been better.

    I guess today I feel a little better than I came here and vented. However I fear that this up is only going to end in yet another scary down.
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