1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Endless

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Zero00, Nov 25, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Zero00

    Zero00 Member

    Every day I think about ending my life. The part of me that always destroys everything thinks it is a great idea but the other part of me is afraid. Mostly I love my life and I do not want it to end. Sometimes I just lose control of my mind and these crazy psychotic thoughts take over. When it happens I can't feel anything but a huge black emptiness. Sometimes my head and my chest hurt and sometimes I cry. I can barely breath or move and I just lay there, feeling my heart beating and wishing it would just stop.

    This happens every day.

    Every. Single. Day.

    I usually wake up early after my nightmares and the first thing I think is "I'm going to die." Sometimes it doesn't last very long. Other times it will take almost my entire day away from me. When I feel that badly I can't go out in public at all. I can't go to class with my eyes full of tears.

    I can't live like this anymore. I know it will always comes back. I have no control over it anymore. I've been this way for as long as I can remember and it is getting worse as time passes.

    I feel hopeless, as if I cannot escape.
     
  2. cakeyz

    cakeyz New Member

    seriously though, stick it out. just find something you like and have fun
     
  3. Zero00

    Zero00 Member

    I have fun sometimes. There are many things that I enjoy and that I'm good at but they never seem to keep me distracted for very long. When I'm broken down I can't function properly and nothing brings me comfort except the thought of death.
     
  4. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Have you tried joining an activity group, or something? Or like a group that meets once a week and does something you enjoy doing? I sympathize, though. Take care. xx
     
  5. PeeOnYou

    PeeOnYou Member

    I completely understand what you're saying as I've gone through this for years. I can't believe I'm still here actually. There have been good times I'm glad I didn't miss, but those rotten broke down times are still here as well and that tends to wear me down to the point where I just don't care anymore.

    I wish I had some answers for you but I don't. Just know that I'm in the same predicament and have been for quite some time, although I haven't actively sought advice or help for it like you.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.