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England NHS want me dead or gone!

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by feathers, May 20, 2011.

  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Not even kidding you, I've been pondering this and it all makes sense. How many times have I been refused treatment when I was incredibly suicidally depressed or, as the case is now, manic to the point where it is causing me great distress?

    First time I went to the doctors for depression I told her I was having extremely strong suicidal urges that I FELT I COULD NOT RESIST MUCH LONGER. I was told this was NORMAL and that it would pass and nothing was done for it! A year later she did exactly the same thing when my depression came back worse!
    I went to see a psychiatrist due to being convinced I have Borderline Personality Disorder (I match EVERY SYMPTOM and it impacts my life SEVERELY) he barely listened to me and told me I had "traits" but didn't have borderline and sent a letter to my GP advising that it would be "DETRIMENTAL" to me to be involved in the mental health services any longer. DETRIMENTAL. I also saw a mental health nurse the other day who I showed my mood charts to. Symptoms that other bipolars have recognised as hypomania and even mania, that's having a severe impact on my life and making me feel like I'm losing my mind, and they tell me it's NORMAL! NORMAL FOR DEPRESSED PEOPLE TO FEEL LIKE THAT!! Apparently depressed people get 'highs' too!!!

    They want me OUT OF THE SYSTEM be that dead or gone! Because they certainly don't care if I die and how much do they have to gain from it? How much does it cost to treat a BPD patient? 4-10 years of therapy I believe is the norm plus sometimes antidepressants and mood stabilisers. How much does it cost to treat a bipolar patient? A life time of medication, and sometimes therapy.

    I am literally burning a hole in their fucking pocket and despite being so manic that I can barely think straight at the minute they're telling me it's normal and there is nothing wrong with me! Let me get on with this mood that is fucking with me and making me feel like I am actually losing my mind. They told me to get on with the depression as though it was as easy as that. When I took my overdose the self harm specialist nurse told me she would get in contact with services and call me back. I called back TWICE asking if she was actually planning on calling me back at any point, when I was told lies like "they copied your number down wrong" and "we'll call you back tomorrow" absolute fucking bullshit because like 3 months later they still haven't bothered. I could be feeling so fucking helpless right now that the people who saw me after my OD didn't even give a fucking shit enough to call me back so maybe they're hoping that I'll fucking actually kill myself next time?

    I'm pretty sure that's what they're thinking. They do not want me in the fucking services at any cost. They know my depressions are getting worse and worse to the point where I can't deal with them and soon I will be trying to kill myself. So they're going to withhold treatment until I do just that.

    They want me dead and it wouldn't shock me if they did this all the time to patients - after all it's not only me who is having severe difficulty with the NHS! It's every fucking mental health patient out there.

    Well they're not gonna fucking win and they're not gonna kill me because I'm not giving up and I'm going to bombard their fucking service, GP, crisis team, A+E, mental health services, until they fucking help me!
  2. lancashirelass

    lancashirelass Well-Known Member

    I know exactly how you feel i have waited 3-4yrs for mental haelth team to see me. I was offered an app just after xmas however that was cancelled and they were maent to get ib touch with me just after new year but due to the fact i hadn't tried oding they thought i was fine and didn't need it. I finally had app yesterday after crisis team rang them when i od'd last week. I must admit she is a very nice lady and tells you how she sees it which makes it easier for me to tell her how i feel i am looking forward to sseing her again as i believe she can really help me. I hope you manage to find someone soon hun. xxx
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    This might come down to what part of the country you are in, either that or you need to change GPs.
    Took son to our GP and we had a psychiatric social worker within 2 months and he was alloted a therapist 3 months later and it was only that long because of Christmas.
  4. the masked depressant

    the masked depressant Well-Known Member

    know exactly how you feel too

    i may as well go die, because no one's helping me and giving me what i deserve
  5. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    They are deliberately persecuting me, that psychiatrist I saw in particular. Writing and saying I should not be involved in the services! I need to be! My depressions are so fucking bad that I will die without help.

    Thing is now every new person I see won't take me seriously either if they've had any contact from him who is deliberately trying to make it so that I don't get help. :mad:
  6. byebyebeautiful

    byebyebeautiful Account Closed

    Hey, I've also had similar treatment to you, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw the same shrink. However I have been treated for my mental health for 6months before seeing that shrink, and she told me while I have BPD she doesn't think I need meds or anything, so its either screw up your life or find something to do and do it. I found something to do, its hard but I threw myself into it (university). Not that easy though.
    Try and change doctors and demand you see a different shrink, I stopped going to shrinks or asking for help because I always get dropped after opening up, I have been from the last therapist I saw just before easter. It's hard to decide what to do, do you give up because thats what you think you should do and a part of you wants to, or do you fight fight fight to gain control. There is no answer anyone can give, because it's for you to decide.
    Demand to see a doctor and refuse to leave until they listen.
  7. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    hey kazine my sister had exactly the same problem you are having at the minute. She saw a doctor after some sh issues and they referred her but after that they started being off with her. She was diagnosed with bpd and ever since then they have been fobbing her off every time she asks them for help. All because one psych took her desperation for help as attention seeking behaviour and wrote it on her notes! I think that you should persevere with getting help because you are bound to hit on someone that you can actually talk to and trust. It only takes one decent doctor to get a real diagnosis and i really hope you find them v soon! xx
  8. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I've had a few problems with the NHS too. I went to my GP regarding my depression and social anxiety/avoidant personality disorder and he told me to "just stop avoiding things" and to come back and see him in two weeks time. No medication, no help, no nothing. It took three more appointments with him acting like a therapist to me before I found the courage to ASK him for medication and a referral to a proper therapist. Took three or so months for the assessment then a further three months for the therapist and they still don't listen to a word that I say. I'm told I have social anxiety that can be fixed within fifteen CBT sessions when I know that I have AVPD which is a lot more severe.
  9. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    I'm in Ireland which I think shares similarities with the UK in regards to mental health treatment. A similar thing has happened to me, and I have two theories:

    1. Going in with an idea of what you have,from googling and so on. They seem to think that you can't really have an illness such as bipolar disorder, if you are aware there's something wrong. For instance I met a girl who was diagnosed as bipolar, and was told she was in the middle of a manic episode. But to her, she was just really happy with her life at that point after recovering from a depressive episode.

    It's ridiculous tbh, it ties into my observation that if you don't completely fit a diagnositc criteria - you don't have anything wrong with you. It's very rigid and they assume you just have issues or just need to buck up a bit. The first time I was assessed by a community mental health team, I basically told this person my whole life story, the symptoms I was experiencing, it was very difficult to talk about to a person I had never met before. Add to that I was wrought with social anxiety. Anyway, I was told to go get some private therapy a few days later, no additional support from them was offered. Even though I was depressed, anxious and having suicidal thoughts.

    Also bipolar disorder; in recent times it's apparently become some sort of fashionable disease, with many celebrities being diagnosed with it. So add another reason why they're suspicious of a person suspecting they have it. I told one doctor about one of my family members being bipolar, and she immediately quite sharply, barraged me with questions, 'how do you know? who diagnosed him? when was he diagnosed?' Like I read the wiki page once and thought this person fit the symptoms. It was upsetting actually.

    2. Being a young female. This is controversial, but I think a young man who tells a doctor he is feeling depressed/suicidal is taken a lot more seriously. Both due to the high rate of male suicides and the fact that men aren't encouraged to express any sort of emotion or weakness it seems, and when they do so it's seen as big step. Also I've never studied psychology, but a big part of it apparently is studying statistics. So a young female is more likely to seek attention due to the risk of seeking help being less (big jump in logic there I know).

    I'm sorry this has happened to you and I hope you can get some treatment and support.
  10. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    have they come right out and told you these things? yeah i hear mental system there is rubbish. do you have psychiatrists over there that are not part of the nhs?
    Last edited by a moderator: May 22, 2011
  11. Mr. E

    Mr. E Well-Known Member

    I think your theories are spot on. I have my degree in psychology, and I (a male) have sought mental health treatment for depression as well, so I can attest to the accuracy of this from both my studies and experience. Statistics are indeed important. Women do seek treatment more than men due to a greater stigma in most societies for men to seek treatment, though this doesn't necessarily mean that the prevalence rate of mental health disorders is higher in women than men. Statistically, while women make more suicide attempts, men are much more likely to employ methods of higher lethality in their attempts, resulting in a higher completion rate. This, combined with the point you raise about men being discouraged from displaying "weakness," leads many therapists to conclude that a man's case is much more serious. While this conclusion may or may not have merit, the assumption that a woman's case is more likely to be less serious is not only unfortunate, but, in my opinion, a display of very poor judgment.

    So sorry to hear that you have been experiencing this with your health care system kazine. In my experience, some health professionals are really afraid to work with someone that they fear may be a legitimate suicide case waiting to happen, for fear of reprimand from their superiors, losing their license, or the professional/emotional burden that it carries. I've been turned away for this reason, and was told outright by a therapist that I was too much of a risk to deal with. I hope that you'll be able to get the proper treatment soon. Keep on fighting to get your needs met.
  12. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    This disturbs me very much. Because it is very likely to be true even though I never thought about it that way. Wow.