Enough is Enough

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by introuble, Jan 2, 2013.

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  1. introuble

    introuble Member

    When enough is enough? In the last 4 months, Ive lost my fiance to a motorcycle accident, my moms dying in a hospital and thanks to a failed suicide attempt 2 weeks ago my kids hate me!! Ive gotten rid of friends and family, im completely alone, which is a good thing I think. I just lost my job a week ago and slept in my car (due to my electric being turned off) in the woods for 4 days just so i would not to be found, due to a so called friend calling the police on me for being suicidal. Is it wrong to just want to be left alone. It is my life right? Am I going crazy from this all the time thought?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is not just your life hun ok your children are involved and they do not hate you hun they are in pain and hurt so deeply that you would want to leave them
    There is help hun go and get it ok show your children teach them that reaching out for help is a good thing that fighting for what you deserve is a good thing hun Do not pass on such pain to them ok donT Their anger is pain and sadness that is what there anger is hun
  3. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    You are grieving and not thinking straight.
    I had a number of loses, one on top of the other and it sent me to a place so dark I thought I'd never come back.
    However, grief does not last forever, each day it gets a little easier, but it does have to be gone through for you
    to come out the other side.
    What you need are family and friends around you.
    The friend who called the police obviously wants to help, lean on them.
    I doubt very much that your children hate you, you probably scared the living daylights out of them and they've reacted angrily.
    Talk to people, get the support you so desperately need, and a chat with your doctor wouldn't go amiss. :hug:
  4. introuble

    introuble Member

    I know I am grieving and I know Im not thinking straight. I try to but my minds playing tricks on me or so it seems, its so dark here I cant even think anymore. As far as each day getting better, mine isnt! Each day is a struggle of how bad I am, how bad my life is and is becoming more so everyday! How I hate everything right about now and funny thing is I dont even care!! I have no family or friends left to turn to, I made sure of that and more or less kicked them out of my life. They arent here for me if they were I wouldnt be alone every minuute..hour..day. Whats left are only me and this monster inside me. Everyone understands (except my kids). They dont understand at all, Im tired of hearing the same words from people over and over. Its a struggle minute to minute and half my days are spent thinking on how to do this right so its not a botched job. I cant get help, I have no insurance so that means no docs or therapist. But they want to HELP ME SOOO MUCH, obviously its about the money, if they wanted to help they would. Ive had enough of people so called caring and ive had enough of this ugly pain and suffering. I really have seen no future for me, I try but its just blank?!
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Find a grief counselling service, often this is a group of people going through the same thing.
    Failing that, a lot of us here have suffered loss and understand, only too well, what grief does to a person and we will listen as long as it takes.
  6. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, introuble. It sounds like it's really rough times for you at the moment. You've taken some big steps by posting here, by reaching out. I'm glad you did.

    I'm sure that your kids don't hate you...they are likely scared and being scared of losing someone can make us "react" with anger. Maybe you can talk to them and tell them how alone you feel right now.

    You feel that you have driven off your friends...Have you tried reaching out to them lately, letting them know that you're very emotional and not thinking clearly? They might be waiting to hear from you instead of coming to you. Is it worth trying to get in touch with some of them? As others have pointed out, the one friend who called the police actually DOES care about you and was worried.

    You have a lot of things on your plate and some of them seem to be getting in the way of your getting the care you need. A big one seems to be money for therapy. Have you contacted the community mental health services in your area to explain that you are out of work and have no financial resources at present? They might be able to work out some kind of low fee plan for you. Also, if you have any religious affiliations, your church/temple pastor might be able to offer you some counselling. And finally, most large urban areas have a hospital that takes people whether they can pay or not. That might also be an option.

    Certainly with the losses you have experienced, you have reasons to feel down. Grief for losses takes time...I hope you look into some of these other options and can find one that works for you. You deserve the chance to get through all this. Keep us posted on how you're doing. Stay safe.
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