Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gubby, Aug 25, 2013.

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  1. gubby

    gubby Active Member

    It's been a long while since I posted and I was doing good at the time. But not now. Definitely not now. I'm at a low again. My parents don't care. I don't even know if my dad does anymore. My mom has better things to do than deal with me though. I told her to stop stressing me out with money because she has for a long while and today she said that most of it was because of me. I'm just another problem for her. My dad and I barely speak and everything is just more awkward between us. His girlfriend is a wh*re and I can't tell him that because it wouldn't be a "valid" argument. My sister would probably be okay without me. She has a boyfriend who loves her and a family who cares about her at least more than me. My friends are pretty much the only thing I have left but they won't be enough. I've had it with everything. It just sucks. Everything is just excuses now. Excuses to talk to people, excuses to be alone, excuses to live... I'm just done... I don't know what I'm doing anymore... I hate it so much. I need... I'm not sure. I don't need anything. I want to die... but want is a whole other thing.
    Away... Just... go... away...
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi Gubby
    It costs money to have a child. it is not the childs fault that it costs money. Nor is it your fault that your mother stresses about money. Even if she says its because of you. Of course kids cost money. Its how it works.

    In a previous post you said that you would talk with the school counseller. I think thats a good idea. Has school started yet?

    Please just know that you are a valuable person. And you would be missed more than you realize. I am sorry your parents cannot be good parents. I hope that will change sometime. But for now, it is very sad indeed. But this is not your fault. It is not because you are bad. It is not because there is something wrong with you. I was pretty messed up because of my mother. Did she blame things on me? Oh yes. I could not be what she wanted. I could not do what she needed. So she blamed things on me. But she was the parent. I was just a kid who needed guidence, love and support. Right? Same with you for your parents.

    Please do not blame yourself for what is not your fault. I do know first hand how confusing this can be. Maybe its all confusing to you as well. I just think you sound like a great kid. And you deserve someone who can hear and help you. you keep posting here. okay? And hopefully you can get an appointment with the school counceller. yes? Stay safe. You are needed in this world.
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