enough

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by hollowvoice, Sep 30, 2010.

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  1. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    all i wanna do is go back to hospital,i know ill be back there sooner rather than later,as soon as i started cutting i started crying,i knew it was wrong,i done so well not to go and get some alcohol and pills but how long can i go fooling everyone that im ok ,what is it that you tell someone i go to bed and dont want to wake up and they say thats life,what is it that your just one week late with rent and they threaten you with eviction and the help you seek says dont want you here,what to do run away or ? i dont know
     
  2. stig

    stig Well-Known Member

    my friend, please hang in there. you are keeping me here. fight it. i'll support you.
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Andi...it feels so awful when one feels rejected...I have a lot of problems dealing with that myself...I am sorry you were treated that way...please be safe and take good care of yourself and know you are wanted here...big hugs, J
     
  4. johnnyboyc3d

    johnnyboyc3d New Member

    Hey Andi, the weird thing is 'everything passes'. I know all this stuff that people post sounds so corny, but so much of it is so true. Imagine where you want to be a week from now, then a month, then 6 months and then a year. You might not get there, but you'll take steps towards getting there. It's all in your subconscious. It really is. I've ben there too - I really know what you're going through, even though you think noone else can even imagine it. BELIEVE. Please.........
     
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    People can be heartless cruel
    but don't let their cruelty get in okay
    there are kind people seen here anyways
    i know i say i am okay too
    but inside i know how the pain eats away at you
    don't let them win okay
    don't let them take your spirit away
    words just words let them go thru
    just try to reach out to people around you
    community is there any help there
    church any social services you can get
    just know this day will end soon enough
    tomorrow i hope is easier for you
    don't let them win okay let the pain go thru
    just dam emotion it will end
    let hope tomorrow will be better again.
     
  6. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    ***hugs***
    How are you holding up?
    :console:
     
  7. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i just feel so guilty today and i dont know why,
    i feel guilty that people i have spoke with have hurt themselves
    i feel guilty that people i have spoke with have dissapered or their avoiding me
    i feel guilty im not a happy person
    i feel guilty that i cant help anyone
    i think the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me was something like thank you for making me laugh (thank you all)
    i feel guilty that should anything happen ill leave my cat
    tomorow is the yearly flat inspection and id prefer they found me more than family
    i feel guilty i posted this and brought people down sorry!
     
  8. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

  9. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    **hugs**
    don't feel bad for posting something. Would rather have you talking.

    andi, i don't think all that guilt really belongs to you :no: i do understand how those feelings can hit though. I get hit with them too, from time to time.

    none of us want anything to happen to you...better to stay here and talk, that way no one needs to be finding you...we know where you are and you can keep caring for your cat :console:

    sounds like you are not feeling so good
    keep talking if you can, okay? keep sharing how you feel.

    :hug:
     
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    andi you did do well not getting alcohol and pills....give yourself some credit..
    Kalis right when she says that guilt doesn't belong to you...
    please be kind to yourself....it's ok that you can't help anyone when you're down yourself and I doubt you've brought anyone down..
    the only thing you should worry about is leaving your cat alone without you..
    hold on and keep talking to us ....we want to help you through this...
     
  11. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hope you feel a little better to day keep posting okay so the pain is less and you don't feel so alone Lots of friends here that care about you
     
  12. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    thank you guys your responses mean alot to me ,knowing im not totally alone,i feel better last night i was told a cousellor was going to come and see me and she never turned up so i felt let down,today i went to work had a "fine"day and i never cut myself last night even though i had the blade in my hand for about an hour,
     
  13. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Andi-

    Im sorry your feeling down, hugs to you and what you do to get through these days. Hope tomorrow is better than today and the next day is better than tomorrow.
     
  14. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    ***hug*** andi

    I'm glad you didn't cut yourself. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been fighting it. :hug:

    You are not alone. I think about you, and others here who are struggling, just at times, i cannot even manage the strength to type.

    You holding up today?

    **hugs** for you
     
  15. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    well done for not cutting.....another achievement..
    damn those couselors that never turn up...I've had that happen with psyche services not turning up here 3 times in a row...what are they thinking?
    I hope you have a better day today and keep reaching out to us....
    we want to help..
     
  16. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    and today i give up the pain killers,if i can give up drink and for the best part control my SH it shouldnt be too hard i have to go out today and im not going to buy any more pills,gotta start somewhere,thanks guys im gonna try this so i can be a good person like all of you.
     
  17. kote

    kote Account Closed

    just being you is good enough, dont put extra stress on yourself trying to be something you are not. you are worth much more than you know and can achieve things you havent even concieved yet. there is a whole world waiting for you. so take your time and take steps when you feel well. dont over whelm yourself too much at first. relax into life please.
     
  18. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    thank you neanderthal,thats very kind coming from you,ive been reading your thread,and i hope youre moving forward today,i hope you listen to kali she seems a very nice helpful person,i dont know much about diabetes but if you ever need a chat im gonna be around.
     
  19. LillMy8989

    LillMy8989 Well-Known Member

    You know, some says that's life but sure you most take it like it was your last. I'm with you if you do asks yourself you're worth it, Don't wanna play "doctor" but I really do think that you should spent more outside the walls my friend (unless you're already into that but please, for your own good), but I don't mean going drinking at clubs or something in like that, just take a trip downtown, go to the nicest cafeteria with a friend and just be there as long as it's open, relaxing and you're gonna thank me when you're done, problems are made for talking instead of being garbage and dirtiness..

    But please me , in real life I have serious opinions of cutting yourself and least 0 empathy for what's they are doing to themselves, "attention*****s"(!?) but not always, I know it can be hard to live with, like me I had eating disorders when I was younger... (not because the attention but I really liked when folk told me I was too thin, or looked perfect...).

    One last thing, do you have any medicine that you're taking..? Is it an antidepressant or... what does it call maybe ill help to say that those sucks if youre looking for something "stronger" if you feels for it , I've neruleptica (antipsychotic, Seroquel) as medicine, could you try, in low doses of course, but it will work great for you I think. And it has nothing about if you're schizo or not:)
     
  20. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    i hate me i think today ill get it done ill go out get some alcohol and stuff and finish the hopelees thoughts of a nothing,i dont know anymore if people are nice or just making fun of me but i know which i feel is happening 531am and my day is over
     
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