So last night i psych myself up to make the call to crisis team. I have the wrong numbers. I finally got diaz at 8pm but by 1 i was still buzzing and struggling to cope. With the recurrent thoughts going through my head i ended up giving in. I pulled the end off the canula. I knew it would bleed out. I sort of expected just to go to sleep and not wake up. I passed out after a bit but think it bunged up by clotting after a while. This morning i was woken to being shaken by the nurses and them running around me. My bp was low. They just basically pulled me out of bed into the chair and told me to go get showered being covered in blood. No questions were asked and it's not been mentioned since. I'm really struggling with the thoughts. I was moved wards this morning at about 1am as was told would be better for me. It's not. There's even less staff and i have no one to talk to. They are going to make referral to psych medicine but now i'm past the point of talking and just want to do what i'm thinking about. They've taken the canula out as think they suspect i did it on purpose. To top it all off i'm really ill today. I'm worse than i've been so far and so now i'm worried that they wont let me go tomorrow. I've got nothing to self harm with and they've taken my method that i did use. So disappointed it didn't work as that would have been a nice quiet go to sleep painless way that could look like an accident.