Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gentlelady, Aug 15, 2012.

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  1. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    After 40+ years of trying to deal with everything, can't I just say enough is enough? When do I have the right to say it's over, I am too tired to fight anymore? The time has come to admit defeat. I give up.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    That is the time to hold on to your friends, especially me, and know how much you are cared for...Lord knows I understand, but I also know that being loved and treasured, as I do you, is a reason to stay...it is not fair; you do not deserve it...and I hate that you are going through all of this...please know you are NEVER a burden, you DO NOT complain too much, in fact, you probably have used less server space than just about anyone else here...much caring and heartfelt concern
  3. letty

    letty Banned Member

    keep hanging on gentlelady, if you need help we will hold on to you, sorry for what your going through,
  4. Raven

    Raven Guest

    We have both looked into this abyss before have we not?It does seem like so many times we have given enough and tried hard enough toearn our end. We here are your friends, willing to help in any way we can. Iwill not give false platitudes and say things will get better, nor say the oppositethat they never will, you must find the strength and the will to look away fromthe abyss, I know how hard it is to look away. In the end know I would miss ourconversations. You are one of the few who really have scratched the surface ofwho I am, I would miss very much having someone that close.
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    You have fought for this long, so why give up now? You have dealt with and gotten through so much and you are a strong person that can get through this rough patch again :hug:
  6. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi gentlelady - you have been such an inspiration to me - and ARE such an inspiration to me on this forum, honey......... let the caring souls here encourage you and help you all we can by listening and sending you our best thoughts and prayers for your strengthening. I copied out your signature yesterday because it's so true.....

    When do we have the right to say we want to stop the fight? If only I had the answer to that question, hun :unsure: For me it was an attempt - BUT God knew it was not the right time and there was a way through it, which gives me the courage to say that there is a way for everyone even if they cannot see it and have tried everything they know.

    Then, it could very well be, the time to try what they do not know. That might not be much in the way of consolation, but there is some truth to it. Perspectives and attitudes are able to change with a new "light-bulb" once the old one has expired.
    It is hope that we all need, and there are ways this can be rekindled honey. There is so much hope "out there" and here, too :) If you'd like to PM, please do :)
  7. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I wish I could make things better for you gentlelady. I think you definitely deserve much better than the hardship you have had.

    I'm sure you've said why you feel this way many times before, but perhaps you would like to tell us again.
  8. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    But I won't be okay without your wonderful greetings! They rule! Just like you! PEACE.:)
  9. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    You mean I don't have the right to say I quit? Last time I checked I still have the ability to pull the trigger.
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Thank you for your words of support. You have shown me more kindness and compassion than I deserve. For that I am humbled and grateful. I am sorry to say my thoughts have not altered any, but no matter. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow so what real difference will it make to expedite the inevitable?

    Forgottenman, thank you for your input. While I may not have the right, I do have the ability and the means so exactly what am I waiting for?
  11. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You are waiting, like many of us, to see the fruits of your labor...your grandchildren, and all the other parts of the legacy you have created...and also, you are waiting for me to forget something else, so you can be my recall and most of my wisdom...whenever you feel like you do not count or are not needed, you are forgetting all of us who care so deeply for you...for many reasons, I am envious of you (yes, of you)...I walked away from the dream and you live it everyday, through your work and your other activities...I wish I had the courage you have ...and yes, many would notice, many would care and no, NOTHING would be easier without you
  12. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    ........ We have the power (ability + means to fulfil motive)......... but we do not have the right.

    This is the truth of the matter, dear gentlelady........ I am sorry that it sounds cold, even callous, with nothing positive in it to relieve or comfort........... but, if we do not have the right to self-exit, then that must mean there is a reason we do not have the right.

    And there is. Always the reason, honey.

    Now is not the time for any lecture about it; except to say that the reason behind us not having the right, is one of love. And everyone on here loves you and are hoping and praying for the very best for you, dear friend :)
  13. BornFree

    BornFree Well-Known Member

    Hey... Whats going on for you? Rant vent whatever let it out... Tell us what has led to you feeling this way now? You are lovely... kind & generous with your words & support the void you would leave would be massive... impossible to fill the you shaped hole that would be left... and your family? Sometimes its hard to find reasons to stay so perhaps you could find a reason to delay?
    A heartfelt :hug: from one struggling soul to another... feel free to pm me if I can be a shoulder...
  14. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Gentlelady, I'm so sad you're so deep into the darkness. :arms:

    We hold on because things always change. And we hold on even for small changes. It's like looking at a photo from the newspaper. You can see a big picture, but it's made of small dots. I think happiness might also be made of small dots...so we take it where we can find it until we can build a big happiness picture. You, who are so kind, gentle, and giving to others, will have millions and billions of those dots to make a happiness picture. Your children, when they have children, young people that you mentor, the people here who love you and care...

    Whatever may be happening now will not last forever, and you can get through these times. Just do a dot-to-dot picture and you will see. :hug:

    My hand is here for you...be safe, please.
  15. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    What I forgot to ask, is should I make a reservation at the W-V Motel? And do they have room service? (LOL) Have the flight, car and motel information in case I need it, and damn you woman, if I have to go to the Rainbow Club and wait for you to order our dinner, I will be there...you know Brooklyn does not kid around in these matters, and since i have already been to Bismark (Big Bison as you get off parkway which proves i have been there)...it is easy to get to you...and in case you use the 'J cant drive relief', I have already told my friend, R, that she might be traveling to the end of the earth with me...she is up for the trip as she has never been there either

    But even better...Let's go to the Rainbow Room, and the W Hotel and see Marley and me...and maybe the man with the pink jeep would be brave enough to come here too...a slumber party


    Oleta Adams-Get Here
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 16, 2012
  16. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Gentlelady ...I can hear you're in pain and overwhelmed but please hold on.
    you have so many people who care about you here and I'm assuming in real life too..your loved ones will be devastated if you go.
    you are a kind and caring person and I selfishly want you to stay around and find hapiness :console:
  17. Raven

    Raven Guest

    You are it, the last person I worry about in this world. You are something more then you present yourself to be, I do not know what but you are. I do not know what to say to you in this time, what words that will uncorrupt the world about you. I have no answers I have no great wisdom to depart. Life has been harder on you then I could imagine, and I have no remedy for this. My sorrow is not being to lend a greater hand to the friends I have left, they are few now, and soon I think none will be left.

    I can’t ask you to stay for me, I know that pull, the strings are taught for far to long for myself as well. It seems to be so easy after all.

    I want you to find the reasons to keep yourself here, and not give up the battle, I wish I could help you more here, but only you can find the reasons, I can reach out to help but you must grab my hand as well. In the end my hope, my wishes are with you here. It is so little, but it is all I can do.
  18. Drake

    Drake Well-Known Member

    When you post your toughts there is always doubt .
    When you don't post and say anything , then you know it is time .

    Sorry Lady , it ain't your time , as simple as that .
    Some say we hold our own destiny in our own hands , but sadly for a very few there destiny was never in there own hands .

    So don't worry even the best can break down .
    Ha atleast you got past the 40+ ;)
    Would be a miracle for me to get to 40 .

    See always a bright side , even in the darkest of time .
  19. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    To the Lady who sent me a surprise visitor message a few days ago, all I can say is that I'm sorry for your hurt. I don't know the circumstances, and don't need to. You're in pain, and I can't change that, but I can let you know that you are cared for, that you are needed. If it feels like a weight is crushing you, maybe that's because so many of us look to your posts for comfort and encouragement.

    I'm sorry that all I can do is let you know you're not alone. You've let me know that I'm not alone - your post shows that our life here is dynamic, that all is in a state of change. I thought that once I was okay for a few days, I would never be in agony again.

    I would be a hypoctite to say I haven't considered my own reasons and needs and possibilities when the depression calls.

    I just wish you peace, at least enough to know that I care. I hope the day is kind to you, that the frustration moves back a step or two. And that you have the curiousity to see if tomorrow is the day when the piece of the puzzle finds its place and then all else is seen in perspective.

    I mentioned a visitor message you sent me - and I don't think we've exchanged messages much, if any - when I checked the time, compared to this thread, it seems obvious that you were really hurting, but still reached out to cheer my day.

    I don't have the right words, but that's something uncommon, that I appreciate and admire. peace
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