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Entering a world of hate and cruelty I am home

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A

alanwilkinson

#1
One more day I awake to pain drag myself back into this world
More pills to take just to survive the day into life I am then just hurled
I survive the battle just to shop and then collapse with another painful shock
Once more the door to again unlock
Entering a world of hate and cruelty I am home

My home is a room 8 by 8
A room I loath a room I hate
No comfort here no Christmas cheer
I put away the things I bear
And throw myself to bed with a tear
I close my eyes and try to sleep
Entering a world of hate and cruelty I am home

Bang crash scream I wake with a start
Oh now not again I cry from my heart
I long to sleep in total dark
Where life is still and no words to hark
Bang again I rouse to complain
Entering a world of hate and cruelty I am home

Where in this world is the love I seek
I climb the barriers to take a peek
At a world I cannot ever enter anymore
So my day ends and more pills to take
I shut my eyes and then I awake
Entering a world of hate and cruelty I am home
 

Jenny

Staff Alumni
#2
Alan :hug:

I'm so genuinely sorry you're going through so much pain and emotional and physical torment right now. If i could help make things better for you, even for just one minute, i would jump at the chance.

I've truly missed you and have thought about you often. It's good to see you around again, I wish it were under better circumstances though.

If there is anything I, and we, can do to help please let me know. I'm going to reply to your PM now

Thinking of you at this really difficult time and sending you the most comforting hugs imaginable

:arms:
Jenny xx
 

theleastofthese

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#3
I too am sorry your life is so sorrowful and frustrating.:sad: Sending you big hugs and hope for better circumstances soon.:smile:

love and hugs,

least
 
A

alanwilkinson

#4
Silence sweet adorable utter black silence
Gone are the days of grieve and violence
No bird or car to destroy the blackness
I enter thee with joy and gladness
The pain is gone and so the madness
Rest is here

Gone is the hate replaced by tears
No longer cruelty no longer fears
My love I feel as she draws nigh
I hear her sob I hear her sigh
Tears well up as I once more cry
Rest is here

I arise from my sleep to start the new life
Only to hear no end to my strife
I must go back and learn what I can
I must go back and be a man
Through the halls of my mind a cry is heard
Rest is here
 
#5
You have such emotion in your writing. I wish it could be a better situatioin for you. I am sorry you have to go through what you are. Please take care and remember we are here for you. :hug:
 

blackfire

Well-Known Member
#6
My heart is heavy for you. Your poetry expresses the way you ache. It is very detailed and exact. If you ache then I ache. I wish you well.
 

Jenny

Staff Alumni
#7
Oh Alan.. I've been thinking of you over the Christmas period and sending good vibes your way. I hope to catch up with you soon... I know it's difficult, but hang on in there :flowers: :hug:
 

TG123

Well-Known Member
#9
One more day I awake to pain drag myself back into this world
More pills to take just to survive the day into life I am then just hurled
I survive the battle just to shop and then collapse with another painful shock
Once more the door to again unlock
Entering a world of hate and cruelty I am home

My home is a room 8 by 8
A room I loath a room I hate
No comfort here no Christmas cheer
I put away the things I bear
And throw myself to bed with a tear
I close my eyes and try to sleep
Entering a world of hate and cruelty I am home

Bang crash scream I wake with a start
Oh now not again I cry from my heart
I long to sleep in total dark
Where life is still and no words to hark
Bang again I rouse to complain
Entering a world of hate and cruelty I am home

Where in this world is the love I seek
I climb the barriers to take a peek
At a world I cannot ever enter anymore
So my day ends and more pills to take
I shut my eyes and then I awake
Entering a world of hate and cruelty I am home
I am so sorry to hear how things are going for you, I remember Christmases like this, too. Don't give up, I'm so proud of you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us, that takes a lot of courage.
I'm praying for you, and I know that God loves you and will never abandon you.

Cristo Vive!
- Tomasz
 
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