Envy, from the Latin invidia, is a feeling of wanting another person's success or possessions. I've been hearing a lot of news from friends and acquaintances. It seems that everyone I know is *highly* successful. I'm feeling envious, and it makes me want to avoid all contact with everybody. I just don't want to know anymore. Compare and contrast: - There's the classmate who's band is making it big-time. Meanwhile, even though I'd love to be on stage, I'm too ugly to be a performer of any sort. - There are a dozen or so friends who are getting married. Meanwhile, I've never even held hands with a girl. - There are friends and classmates in wonderful jobs that let them travel around the world. Meanwhile, I've been banned on business trips because no one can share a room with me due to my disgusting snoring problem. - There's the friend that won a huge art contest. Meanwhile, I've been unable to finish an art project for the last 3 years, and even if it were finished, isn't going to be that great anyway. - There's the friend that's been filing patents and publications left and right in some of the most prestigious scientific journals. Meanwhile, I'm struggling to publish my second paper on something stupid because I couldn't understand the math for something better. - There's the classmate whose start-up company has been featured on the cover of a business magazine. Meanwhile, no one knows what I do because it's so insignificant. ... etc., etc. These aren't even atypical for the people I know. Everyone is so successful. They don't try any harder than I do. Back in college, I struggled to understand what I was learning and spent all of my time trying to work it out. Everyone else was at parties. They still turned out better results than I did. I try to overcome shyness but I keep getting more and more disgusting physically that it doesn't matter. The envy that I'm feeling is making me a bad person. I've lost any sense of compassion or sympathy for other people's problems. I keep thinking that if I had what they have, I wouldn't complain. I also keep thinking that they should experience life like me. It's a terrible thing to think but I can't stop it.