Epitome of Failure

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by cie, Apr 2, 2014.

  1. cie

    cie Banned Member

    I worked insanely hard to get into university and study computer science and I'm there now.

    A few minutes ago I realized that I've missed too much and I can't keep up and I have no motivation left at all, my reserves are depleted. I'm barely keeping my head above water, and now I can't even get up in the morning.

    I've emailed their disability services to make an appointment. Posting this because I feel like complete shit, I've failed at everything I wanted yet again due to my illness.

    What the hell am I meant to do, I want a life not this shitty excuse for one.
     
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    Cie I am so sorry that things are so difficult for you. Well done for being proactive and making an appointment with disability services. You are not a failure at all and the fact that you got to uni and made a start on your future proves that. I understand your frustration but please don't give up. Keep us posted about what disability services say :hug:
     
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    hi Cie. I agree with what Freya said. Also I want to suggest to you that you think about separating who you are from the challenges you live with. The illness is not who you are. It is an illness that you grapple with. You have done good in spite of the illness. and I am so very impressed that you made the apt with disability services. Really impressed.

    I too hope you let us know what they say to you. Sending you one of these :hug:
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Cle, don't despair. Seek help and most important be proud of where you got to. Don't give up on what you have so far have achieved especially with your illness.

    Your got guts and please take care. Respect to you posting here for help.
     
  5. cie

    cie Banned Member

    I have an appointment on Tuesday. One day before a test that I can't do. Thanks for the kind words.

    Not sure what disability services can even do about it.
     
  6. cie

    cie Banned Member

    Well I had to withdraw from 2 papers. Now I have one. Next trimester they say only take two.

    I'll be studying FOREVER.

    I want to fix my life and I can't if I'm stuck in school for the rest of it.
     
  7. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    cie, thats hard. But the good news is that the school wants to work with you to keep you there. Sometimes school can be the best place to get help. I hope thats the case for you.

    You have an apt today. yes? I REALLY hope that you are offered help. And that you can work on the "illness" with a counselor/therapist while still in school. I am sorry things are so hard.