Erm, I don't think it's a 'phase'

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by PiecesMended, Sep 29, 2010.

  1. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    Okay, I'll try to explain myself in a way that makes sense but I might not be able to as this is the first time I'm ever putting it in black and white.

    I'm sixteen and for a while I was a bit like "do I like girls?" like alot of teenagers, I was a bit 'curious'. Well a couple of years ago one of my friends came out and even told me she liked me. I'm totally anti-homophobia by the way. Two of my older brother's are gay, i love them to bits, and their boyfriends and I have no problem with other people at all being whatever. I don't talk to her anymore but it isn't related to this at all. She did try it on with me a few times even though I said I was straight. Really I just (i'd like to say I'm in love but I think I'm too young to know about love) like one of my other friends (who's a girl).

    I totally blocked my own feelings so that I could pretend I didn't have feelings for them. I was kind of hoping that it was just 'feelings' like i only liked them because I was so close to them and that I was getting my feelings mixed up and what-not. Because I quite fancied my friend who was trying to get with me.

    I've never had a boyfriend OR girlfriend. But even though I have only ever got one kiss from one girl I, uh, found it more comfortable in the moment than when I've made out with guys or whatever. But it freaked me out after-words. After a while I came to the conclusion that I must be bi-sexual. But I'm not sure anymore. I think I might only like girls. I'm very uncomfortable with this personally even though I have absolutley no issue when it comes to other people.
    I was going to try and talk to my mum about it earlier but she's mad at me over something stupid and won't talk to me properly today. I could use some advice?
    Sorry, I know this all sounds pathetic but I'm really, really not comfortable with this whole situation.
  2. SCUK2009

    SCUK2009 Well-Known Member

    Are you a girl?
  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    Hey... you shouldn't worry so much! ^__^'

    You're only 16!
    It's okay to be a bit confused or curious- or both.
    You don't have to 'decide' on anything for yourself because as you get older, you should become comfortable with yourself enough to be able to just do whatever the hell it is you want to do and what feels natural to you.

    My 16th birthday was the first time I ever did *anything* with anyone.
    It was super embarrassing.
    I was sure for a long time that I was asexual because I wasn't interested in anyone at all that way.
    I had a boyfriend that I was a bit confused about and not sure how I felt but once I felt comfortable enough with him, all of that physical stuff came much more naturally.
    The first time for anything is going to be weird - maybe even freak you out, but that's normal.

    You just have to test the waters, I suppose.
    And it doesn't matter if you're straight, bi or gay; no one knows what they 'are' for the most part, until they are much older.
    Some people think they must be straight but turn out to be gay - some people think they're bi but decide they're straight afterall~
    Your body will continue to mature until you're 18+, so your mind is still not at ease with itself yet.

    So just think about it and come up with whatever conclusion you can for now.
  4. PiecesMended

    PiecesMended Well-Known Member

    thanks! you're right.

    and yes i am a girl
  5. SCUK2009

    SCUK2009 Well-Known Member

    Thanks, I was a bit confused reading that post. Don't worry about anything, you're still young, it's all good.
  6. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Agreed with the others. Try not to worry about labelling yourself.

    I am 24 and still don't know what i am.

    Don't get me wrong i have had periods of being frustrated with not knowing but now i don't care. I love who i love :)
  7. mcviking

    mcviking Well-Known Member

    If you are attracted to someone, go after it. Don't worry about the labels. Try them both and see which is best for you. Experimenting doesn't mean your orientation is set in stone.
  8. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about being a lesbian. If you aren't afraid of it, then you'll be comfortable, whether you are or not.
  9. SuicidalAgain

    SuicidalAgain Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about it. I used to have those kinds of doubts myself. "Do I like boys? Do I like girls? Do I like both?". I'm older now and even though I find the term "Gay" to be very limiting, I use it whenever I need a label.

    You just have to give it time and you'll see for yourself what your sexual orientation is, but whatever it is, it's all good, no need to be afraid, just go with the flow :)