I guess I can post this here.. I have been fighting with myself over the idea of suicide lately. Recently I took on a pagan attitude twords life and death. I never agreed with heaven, hell, and that whole nine yards. My idea of it was that I was energy and energy never dies, it only changes. Anyways..Lately I have fallen into a depression again. I have a few days of feeling decent/content but then the depression/hopelessness kicks back in. I have been thinking about suicide lately but whats the point? I will end right back here someday regardless. The problem is..Will I end up in a situation just as bad as what Im in now, worse, or better? I hate to admit this but I have been thinking of awful things, ways to hurt myself/take my human body out. Some of them are graphic, I can actually imagine myself doing these things that I think of. Im not afraid of so called death. I have nothing to fear..but (here comes the but) I do worry about those I would leave behind. Who would care for my son, who would take care of my dogs, who would feed my cats, who would cook for my husband, how bad would my actions hurt my Dad, would friends miss me, would my family be able to continue normally without me, would my husband start drinking again..and... Okay, thats my thoughts for now.