I do not know what to do! It's like...empty promises. I wait every month...and he never gets a job. I don't even have faith in him anymore. I really do not think he will ever find a job, and that scares me. And pisses me off. And makes me incredibly sad. It's become a main part of my thoughts each day. Did he get the job? Did he go looking for a job today? Whatever.... I know he is just a boyfriend, not a fiance or a husband, but after nine months of dating a jobless boyfriend, or one who can't seem to do something right and keep it for more than 2 weeks, it just really affects me. And I just feel terrible for thinking all these things. I feel terrible for dwellign on his joblessness. His failings. I hate thinking that I am dating a fialure or a loser. I love him, but I think that if this cycle of joblessness continues any longer, that I will not love him, trust him, or anything. It already starting; I can feel it. But he promises! And I believe him, because I can honestly tell that he trying very hard. He is depressed because he can't "do anything right" or he is "a loser" or he can't make me "happy" and whatnot...and I hate thinking it might be true. I just don't know. I don't know whether it would be best for me to break up with him. I don't know whether it would be morally and ethically right to break up with him. I don't know whether I am still with him because I love him that much or if I just can't stand to be alone. Because...I hate being alone. I get very upset when I am alone. I am so confused. He is trying...I know that. He feels bad...I know that. I believe those things. I just don't know if I can handle it...should. He doesn't have a college degree...he has this dent in record-possession of marijuana...and he just isn't good at keeping jobs. Confusion...! I hate relationships. I should be a freakin' monk or something. ARGH! A part of me wishes that he would cheat on me or fall out of love with me so that I could break up with him and feel no guilt. I hate that. I love him...but not when I think of his career...or lack thereof. I JUST WANT TO SCREAM!