I'm back to trying to figure out how to get out of my life. To anyone who hasn't read my previous posts here, I have chronic migraines, and hyperalgia. the latter being a pain amplification syndrome. So things that are only slightly uncomfortable to you, cause physical pain to me, like brushing a knot out of my hair. I'm supposed to start a preventative medication for the migraines soon but I'm so afraid of it. Side effects include dizziness, nausea, voitting, anxiety, suicidal thoughts or actions, and insomnia. All of which I'm already plagued by. But it also includes damage to the eyes and blurred vision. The FDA doesn't say its approved for the treatment of migraines either, which worries me. I'm running out of things to try. If I can't see thats it, its over for me, I'd throw myself of a skyscaper. The only thing I have is my art, and my books. that is, when I'm not shaking too badly. My whole life has become this tiny bubble. And no one understands what its like to live like this. Always hurting. Always tired. I feel like I've aged 70 years in less than 2. I struggle to walk, eat, not fall off the toilet. The closest thing I have to a friend is my cat, who won't even sleep in my room anymore. And he bites me. Ass. I'm just so done with struggling through everything ad seeing people just have one thing after another just handed to them. Its not right. I just don't want to do it anymore.