So far what keeps me from killing myself is the ethical concerns that arise. I am very fortunate in my life to have people who love me and certain talents that help me get by. Yet I still feel like I shouldn't exist; I intuitively believe that my existence is a mistake. The ethical concerns are important because folks disagree on religion, but we can all agree on basic principles of right and wrong. There are two basic viewpoints that speak against suicide: Utilitarianism and Duty ethics (Deontology). From a utilitarian standpoint, if I were to kill myself, that would end my suffering but it would traumatize my close relations (family and significant other). Therefore on net the total suffering increases. Since it is wrong to commit an action that increases total suffering, I should not kill myself. This is dependent on life situation; if nobody cared about me this argument would cease to work. From a duty standpoint, if I were to kill myself, I must accept that everyone else should also kill themselves if they believe their existence to be onerous. My estimate is that this covers a large proportion of the world's population. If everyone were to commit suicide under the same conditions as my own, then society would be in a pretty bleak position. Therefore it is wrong for me to commit suicide from a deontological perspective. But the issue that has been bothering me lately is that I am dragging myself through life, sometimes okay but most of the time in deep depression, carrying on in grim determination since it is my duty to family and society to be a productive human being. It doesn't take a psychological expert to recognize this as a recipe for resentment. Now how productive can I really be in society with mental illness weighing me down? If I apply this aspect to an external viewpoint, and ask what if everyone simply pushed themselves to survive out of a sense of duty, then I think that maybe it would be better to self select out of the system, leaving the earth's resources to those who feel like they do have a positive reason for existing. On the other hand maybe it is simply my duty to find my own reason for living rather than ending my life in the absence of such a reason. Yet my illness makes it such that no matter how much positive thinking or coping skills training or affirmations (or whatever the pop psychology community is spewing at the moment) I go through, I still feel like a waste of space at the end of the day. So are there any ethical concerns that address the issue of basically resenting one's own existence? Is it possible to change if one has this type of personality? I'm hoping that since this forum is essentially here for people struggling against suicidal impulses that someone has more experience on this.