ffs, i felt really good yesterday and have no idea why, then today, despite all the shit that should and usually does affect me like this i just started looking for suicide methods (again) on the net. this time its the 'girl' thing. i agree with the other dude who said he was going to kill himself in 24 hours - its like the straw breaking the camel's back. i cant focus on anything else now and just want the ground to swallow me up. but it isnt that easy unfortunately of course. i know im young-ish at 18, but whats the point in all this when nothing actually goes right? apart from my driving test ive failed at everything ive done in my life (no underexageration). meh. hope you are all good or better than usual tonight.