Even breathing hurts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Hybrid Theory, Jun 13, 2012.

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  1. Hybrid Theory

    Hybrid Theory Active Member

    I know I'm new here and ye don't know me or owe me anything but I could really use some advice.

    I'm getting more and more suicidal ever day that passes. My mood is getting worse and worse. I just feel like I'm dying every day and I just want to end it all. I'm struggling not to cut (it's been 3 days since I last did it and 7 weeks the time before that), I don't want to be relying on cutting to get through everyday life like I used to before.

    The thing is that I really have no reason to feel like this atm. Nothing has happened or anything but I just feel like I can't go on anymore. The pain is horrible. I'm on antidepressants already but they don't seem to be working.

    Any help?
     
  2. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    I'm in the same boat. I don't have too many options. My therapy groups have dried up, so I come to this site. I feel like my entire life is a mistake.
     
  3. EisNayk

    EisNayk Well-Known Member

    that is strange nothing has gotten worse yet your mood is going down. you sure there is nothing that caused it maybe a subconscious thought?
     
  4. Hybrid Theory

    Hybrid Theory Active Member

    I know =/ Calling doc in the morning I think. =/
     
  5. Timshel

    Timshel New Member

    Sorry to hear that you are in that state of mind, Hybrid. If you're cutting/carving there is hope. I had been cutting since I was 13 or so and was still doing it when I was 26 or 27. I was about 4 years married and my wife told me that we had to go to doctor (a GP) about it because it was getting worse.

    We went to our doctor and he hooked me up with a unit in a local hospital that dealt with problems like this. The therapist was amazing. I never understood why I was taking knives, broken beer bottles. razor blades, shavers, etc. and cutting myself.

    First session she needed some background info. Second session she explained how cutting/carving can quickly become an addiction. One where the person feels in control of their life by cutting because they can't control the external things. In my case she found that my cutting was a combo of trying to control my life but more importantly, that each cut was a release of extreme anxiety.

    By the third session I had stopped cutting. I began to understand my cutting. I think that I just needed to talk to someone who had a good idea of why I was doing it (because as I said, I had not a clue - it just made me feel better).

    I hope that some of this helps.

    For me, it was not suicidal - I just had to release vent up anger, anxiety or whatever and by cutting...I was the one in control. I think that cutting is probably the same thing for most of us.
     
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