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Even small losses and unexpected bills bring stress, panic & suicidal thoughts !

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sc98007, Jun 7, 2009.

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  1. sc98007

    sc98007 New Member

    While some people loose millions and do fine, I cannot take losses well. Even as little losses & unexpected bills as $50 (and often even less) make my heart pounce and I have a hard time recovering from it. When the unexpected bill or loss is larger than $200 or so that triggers a panic response in me. Then a feeling of anger over whoever caused my loss and/or myself for being a sucker.

    Today my HMO screwed up for the third time this year. And I have to fight a bill that will total close to a thousand dollars. Per my understanding - they should have covered the bill - but they did not ! Of course can a human being navigate the maze of healthcare bureaucracy !

    Because unexpected bills and losses have potential to bring me to my grave, I've been avoiding situations when I will get into this situation. I've been avoiding owing a car, so I don't end up with a big unexpected bill for car expense. I am reluctant to start a family or having kids because of all the money that can be potentially be lost over it.

    I never invested into stock market, and that's good, since a 50% or so decline in my portfolio would be deadly for me. When I buy expensive electronics I always buy extended warranty since if my HDTV dies one month after my warranty, I might die with it too ! (Of course then I have to fight with my extended warranty provider who is trying to not cover my item)

    My maternal grandfather felt sick over money. And I believe I've inherited that from him. While I can be extremely frugal with my money, and save nearly half of my small income, I tend to get into a severe depression, panic and suicide when my savings are about to take a hit. Especially when I feel that I was a victim of someones deceit or incompetence.

    While I know that stuff happens in life, and now and then everybody got to pay a bill or two for something they haven't expected. I have hard time to adjust to this reality. I feel strong urge to fight unfair billings, contact Better Business Bureau, Consumer Protection etc... Even for a hundred bucks or so. I even had an idea to picket my HMO's hospital denouncing it's careless billing practices.

    But the fight I tend to engage in over trivial bills, and even not-so trivial bills, comes with too high of the price to my physical and emotional well-being. I feel that if a relatively minor monetary loss can translate into suicidal thoughts, a truly severe financial loss will undoubtedly result into a suicide.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 7, 2009
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    It is all relative...I probably get upset of things you would breeze by. You sound what I call "raw"...the little things are just as powerful a blow as the so-called "big' things..
    Also, for me anyways, it is the fact that it just seems like everywhere I turn i "ahh" so no break from it ?
    You have any support or friends?
  3. sc98007

    sc98007 New Member

    I guess I want to have control over my life, so no unexpected unpleasant events happen. And I tend to panic and even become suicidal quickly when loose any sense of control, especially when it comes to money I did not budget to spend, or health related issue like Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I kind of know what you are going thru.. I'm on SSI diability and come the end of the month I get myself all worked up worrying that my direct deposit will hit my checking account.. I have no trust so it is a constant worry...
    If they ever cut me off it will trigger me big time to commit because I have no other way to support myself..
  5. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Have you ever discussed your issues with a professional? Yes it's natural that we want to control our own lives, especially financially. But we cannot foresee the future & any unexpected or unpleasant events that it may bring.

    I can understand that you would be worried in situations where you may have to pay for something that perhaps you had not budgeted for or not expected.

    We can apply 'what if' to so many everyday situations but if it's getting to the point where it interferes with daily life then perhaps it is time to seek help for your fears?
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