The middle of the night is when I experience the strongest suicidal feelings, when I seriously think I'm going to snap, and it's terrifying. I feel so utterly alone with no one to talk to. I've been been spending pretty much every night for 2 months crying myself to sleep. Sometimes when I'd be up in the middle of the night with my head throbbing from crying so much, I feel like I should call one of those suicide hotlines. But I don't.... I don't know, I'd just feel guilty about bothering a stranger with my problems. Did you ever feel a lot calmer after calling one of those 800 numbers?