Well its been a while since I posted in my own right Here is an update for those who can't remember Age 41, was fat, now thin and getting thinner, have always been gay, just hid it till I was 40, now out to friends and family, all very supportive, even my Dad in the end, which was a surprise, cos he is a bigot, when is comes to that sort of thing, old age has mellowed him alot. All good you are thinking, me to, then why is my depression worse than ever, had to go to the doctors it got that bad, now on meds, still feeling like crap, so will soon get meds increased for a second time, I thought I was doing the right thing, I thought it would help make things right, it did for a while, but yet here I am stuck in the same place, with the same emotions going round and round in my head. There was a little mud in the water, a girl, yes I said girl, that offered me a ready made family and the chance to "do what I liked" as long as I came back to her, I was so tempted, the one thing I regret is never being able to have kids, but then she met my best mate, they started dating, like 2 after she made me that offer, now I don't see either of them at all, oh yeah, should add I was sort of a bit in love with my mate, even though he is straight, foolish I know I my age, but it just sort of happened, like it does. So what now, have looked around on various web site, but all those guys want is sex and nothing more, thats not enough for me, guess I just need to be loved, just like everyone else, but having led a straight life for so long, not sure I can do the whole picking up guys in bars thing, so what chance does that leave me, pretty much none. No matter how hard I try, I just don't seem to be going anywhere Any ideas ? PS, The sad thing is getting so bad, people have noticed, some of my friends are getting borded of it now and starting to leave me to it, all on my own agian, which is the last thing I need right now, lots of time home alone, drinking red wine by the gallon, I know how that story goes and its not a nice place to be !