Ever feel like nothing matters? Not even cutting matters...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by saltydogmk, May 27, 2012.

  1. saltydogmk

    saltydogmk Member

    I feel I have lost all care in everything...Not even cutting can fill the void as it used too. I do not care if I live or if I die, I am merely existing at this point in my life. I was asked today how can I be a saved christian if I continue to have thoughts of self mutilation and suicide? How dare they question my faith, who are they to make such comments? I struggle just as everyone else struggles with severe depression. I wish I did not struggle, but I do. I hate having these harmful thoughts...but I hate not having any feeling at all worse. I want to cut SO bad right now...But then I think was is the point? I feel in control when I cut. Does anyone else get that feeling of not caring about anything? Why must I be made to suffer with the threat of self mutilation and suicide everyday of my pathetic life? I hope someday I get the courage to do something...Just so that the mental and physical pain will be no more...I don't want to live like this forever...
  2. Kharma

    Kharma Well-Known Member

    While I can't say I agree with you about everything, I most definately understand thinking that nothing matters. I desperately want something to matter.

    Nothing does. Except....


    The pursuit of something that matters. The longer it takes to find, the more I despair it's the correct answer.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    understand can relate to your post depression dam it takes every color away and j ust leaves dull gray I m sorry you are suffering and your right no one should be judging you hun. I do hope you can reach out support to get some control back in your life without self harm hugs