Ever Have a Spouse/Lover Come Out of The Closet?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by FoundAndLost1, Feb 25, 2008.

  1. Just wondering...

    I have - though it was a number of years ago... Makes a great "punchline" now when I say, "Yep - my husband left me for another man". Catches people off-guard and makes me laugh! Never held a grudge against him (my ex) and last I heard, he's still with the same partner after all this time (hetro's often can't seem to manage that feat!)
  2. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    I used to know a man who said he was 'open.' Whatever that meant. Maybe he was trying to impress me. He treated women like rubbish.

    Generally, I don't like the terms 'closet' and 'coming out.' I've never been in any kind of closet. I've recently used the term very casually to describe certain men whom I have no respect for because of their homophobia and bigotry.
  3. My apologies - for lack of a better/ready and concise term...(maybe refers to "skeletons in the closet", as in, kept hidden...).

    Also, it wasn't the first time in my life (the third, actually) that someone I was having a relationship with had 'disclosed' (better?) this to me - perhaps ironic as I never stigmatized the phenomenon, and accepted people for who they were (even if it hurt me personally). I used to laugh whenever I heard the phrase "lightning never strikes the same place twice"...! My life has been filled with such 'strange' irony... :wink:

    (also makes me smile when I remember that I'd told my ex jokingly before we were engaged - he, knowing about my past - that of course, I would have to KILL him if I ever found out he was gay! He later admitted that he was sincerely paranoid about what retribution I would inflict on him ---- and that was my only "revenge", if that's the right word)
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2008
  4. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    i dont know if this counts but i am bisexual and when i told my EX he wasnt bothered about it at all...he thought it could spice the relationship up n so on....

    once we started asking about my past and relationships he didnt feel so sure any more, it upset him knowing i had been with more woman that him, i just used to laugh but he soon got sick of the "topic" and we couldn't talk about it any more...im guessin it was hard for him to come to terms with...bless

  5. Well...initially I had given some thought to "letting him do his thang" on the side (we really were a great couple), and we even discussed it. He was kind enough though to say and insist that wouldn't be fair to me - and ya, I soon later agreed...

    I guess everyone has their limits, where they draw their own line in the sand...
  6. whybeherenow

    whybeherenow Active Member

    Wow - I am impressed by your ability to laugh.

    Happened to a friend of mine recently - he jumped the fence - his wife was/is absolutely gutted.

    I feel so sorry for her - he was her whole life - kids mortgage etc. She is shell - shocked. I seriously think she would have been less hurt by him dying.

    Have been friends with him since childhood. Never really gave much thought to what he was. Friendship isn't about sexuality. I am gay, by the way, although I don't care much for the word. Human nature is much more complex than a few labels.

    If you have been with a few men who turned out to be gay, maybe you are a gay man in a womans body? Joking. Or not.