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ever make a promise to yourself?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by music, Apr 26, 2008.

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  1. music

    music Well-Known Member

    I made a promise to myself 10 years ago that if I never had a romantic relationship by the age of 23 I would kill myself. That time is coming in less than 2 months...and guess what, nothing has happened in those 10 years. I feel foolish for making such a promise, but at the same time it still feels valid.
  2. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    If your female its not so bad, you can always start later, theres a women I know that didn't start relationships and dating until 28 because she never meet anyone she liked. It only a problem really if your male...
  3. music

    music Well-Known Member

    I am male...so should I load up a magazine?
  4. -Yurimaru-

    -Yurimaru- Member

    Hey Music, no I don't think you should end your life because of something like this. I think it's perfectly normal not to have had a romantic relationship by the age of 23 - I know plenty of people, guys as well as girls who were in they're twenties before they started seeing anyone. I would try not to worry about it - I know it's hard, but I'm sure you'll meet someone.

    If you want to talk feel free to pm me or add me on msn.

    take care
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey, it's okay to change your mind about this promise you made to yourself.

    i know it doesn't seem that way now, but at 23 you have many possible relationships in your future. indeed, there are some people at 23 stuck in marriages that they wish that they could get out of...

    who can say what the next 23 years hold for you? as someone who has suffered and *survived* depression, loneliness, and suicidal feelings you have so many gifts to share with the world, specifically empathy and compassion. we need more kind people like you. please reconsider your promise?
  6. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy


    Dont listen to the talk of it being an issue because your male. People find love at all different ages. What about people who divorce then fall in love again much later in life.
    You never know what is just round the corner. You are still very young, dont take away your opportunities for happiness.
  7. LonelyTraveler

    LonelyTraveler Well-Known Member


    There are women who didn't have a relationship until later in life, but they eventually had one and they'll say "I was waiting for the right guy." Guys, on the other hand, if we haven't been in a relationship by the time we get out of high school, women think we have a disease and won't date us. They don't have the balls to not think like the rest of the herd and say "He may not be so bad..." Sure, people get divorced and find love again. It makes sense that if you're loved once, you'll be able to convince another to love you. But if you were never loved, it's game over.

    And I don't know about y'all, but me being suicidal, lonely, and depressed hasn't made me into someone that the world wants a part of. They'd rather me be dead than to talk to me. People want no part of a depressed person. They can't handle it. They think it'll rub off on them. Sure, we're compassionate. But who the fuck wants to be around us? Women would rather drink battery acid than hear me tell them that I care about them. And the shitty part is that they blame me, like I'm supposed to be able to control them and keep them from saying "no". That's bullshit.

    So, music, the hypocritical rules of this site forbid me from saying that you should do it. But I'd be committing a greater sin if I lied and told you that there was hope. I wish I had better news for you. I wish I had already killed myself, but somehow I survive each time I try. So until this body finally takes the hint and dies, I've made it my mission to keep people from suffering like I have.
  8. -Yurimaru-

    -Yurimaru- Member

    I'm not sure I agree with you. I'm sorry if that's been your experience, but I don't think it's like that for everyone. People who've suffered/do suffer from depression and mental illness can and do have meaningful lasting romantic relationships, sure, it may not be easy, but it is possible. Also, I think I don't think it matters if you haven't had a relationship by the time you're twenty something - maybe you just haven't met the right person yet, and if someone is worth being in a relationship with, it won't bother them anyway.
  9. music

    music Well-Known Member

    hmmm, i don't really know how to respond to many of these posts. i'm also probably not the most typical depressed person as I hide it extremely well. to everyone around me if i ever said i was depressed they straight up would laugh in my face. secretly they don't know how much i hurt and how easy it would be for me to just pull that trigger. i'm not unattractive, girls have come on to me, but i'm just a chicken shit who can't even look them in the eye.

    yes i have tried to talk to people about it (family), but they couldn't handle hearing that and basically ignored anything i would say about it.
  10. music

    music Well-Known Member

    holding my breath
    waiting to die
    this lonely road
    has no light
    wandering forever
    this unlit street
    there is no help
    i have been beat
    avoided like a plague
    an outcast is seen
    the only problem is
    that outcast is me
    a shallow promise
    now holding water
    on my 23rd
    it will all be over
  11. aki

    aki Well-Known Member

    That's a beautiful poem.

    I'm sorry you feel so sad :hug: I definitely don't agree with lonely traveller's viewpoint. Lots of men don't have a relationship until later in their life.
  12. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    I dont think it should be a problem at all for either men or women. The key for either gender is to not make it priority on what "they say", what society thinks is normal and what isnt. So you coudlve had 3 relationships by now (just a random example) and been through hell because they were all the wrong people. Havin a relationship doesnt necessarily make anyones life better. Having a happy one surely, but unfortunately a lot of relationships arent happy these days. If i was you I wouldnt be worried, I would rather wait for years and years and then find the right one than to go through hell and back with the wrong ones on the way. I could understand if you now said you would rather make the experience of a relationship, but trust me, love can make u wanna die too.

    Youre the same age as me and there is nothin wrong or abnormal about not having had a relationship so far, whether ur male or female.

    And as for the women not wantin to date guys without experience, Im sorry if thats what you have had to experience but it only proves further that the right one hasnt crossed your way yet. I mean think about it, if a person judges someone just for not having had a relationship yet instead of takin the time to get to know them, is that really the kind of person you would want to date?? I dont think so.

    Nevertheless of course I hope that the right person will cross your way soon and that you will get to experience how beautiful love can be, and I hope you wont have to see the painful side to it :hug: Just dont bring yourself down that you havent found that person yet :hug:
  13. music

    music Well-Known Member

    i don't think you understand....its not that the right one hasn't crossed me yet...it's that NO ONE has...people treat me like a plague....i'm like air, i dont even fucking exist.

    it all just hit me in the face today....it was like i was trying to stand up but something kept pushing me down....what a bully this life is.

    sobbing...no tears...doubt i can handle this

    can't wait for it, i've saved a special piece of *method* just for this. can't wait.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 8, 2008
  14. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    Good news. I felt the same way you did at that age. But as you get older, you get a better sense of your priorities. You get better at accepting things about yourself. You even accept losses, and doing without those things that are constantly glamourized by the fucktard media. Give it time.
  15. music

    music Well-Known Member

    holy crap....this is not a joke in any way...or maybe it was just god/fate/whatever playing a joke on me.

    The absolute unbelievable thing happened...ON MY BIRTHDAY. I hadn't ever felt so bad in my life up until a few days ago. I had everything ready, I couldn't take it anymore, but decided to have one last good night of fun. Then I met her..and we are crazy for each other. I never thought such feelings were possible, she is perfect. Anyways I just wanted to update since I hadn't posted in a while and kind of just disappeared.

  16. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I would gladly trade places with you. My experience with relationships is I am a damned fool to think I could ever have a lasting relationship. Every woman I thought I was in love with, has cheated on me. IT made me think it was all my fault. My therpist says that I always picked the wrong woman because of the excitment. She told me it's because I matured and knew what I wanted out of life. She says I always met them in a bar where they were acting wild and crazy. They would get stinken drunk and go home with the first guy to pick up on them. She told me I need to look elseware for a significat other. I told her it doesn't matter that I have decided I am better off alone.You can't get hurt that way. I have grown accustom to being by myself. I'm fifty one years old and set in my ways. So why rock the boat...:chopper:
  17. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Hmm... dude im 23 years old and i never had a REAL relations...
    my longest relation (if you can call it that way) was 1 week.

    I really think you should take it easy, its not that big deal.
    I know guys much older then me who never had sex, its normal!

    Hell i dont know about others but as for me, i have wierd issues
    with that too, i dont like sex (yes its wierd i know)
    becouse of that there are many girls who will find me wierd and
    wount be intersted in me, but i dont care.
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