Ever not care about anything?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Cortez, May 18, 2010.

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  1. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    A lot of times I just don't care about anything, I lose interest in everything. I don't care about school, working, money, cars, spending time with family, trying to make friends, no hobbies, no nothing. I feel like this when my depression worsens, I don't feel like doing anything pretty much. But I feel like a weirdo, freak show, crazy person, when I stop caring about everything. Who in their right mind doesn't care about anything? It's like my body can still operate, get up in the morning, bathe, feed myself, go out for a while, but my mind doesn't do anything, it just sits there, no motivation, no goals.

    Even the people that I spoke to in the past who dealt with heavy depression always had stuff they cared about, goals, stuff that keeps them going, I am so embarrassed that I don't feel any of that. I think "what's the point in me living if I don't even live for anything, I don't care about anything". I feel like I should be ostracized from society, "how dare I not care about anything". I feel alone in this, who in the world doesn't care about anything?

    It's why it took me a while to complete high school, it's why I never had steady employment, because I just didn't care, I was too depressed to care, but my whole thing is I don't really know anybody else who is depressed and doesn't care about things such as work, school, getting married having a family one day, who is that crazy to not care about any of those things?

    One thing I do have is a caring for others, I have such a capacity to show compassion to others, to care for the less fortunate. But that is my downfall because I am extremely sensitive and touchy.

    I wasn't like this my whole life, I used to care, my childhood was a happy one. I still do care about things at times, but every time I get a heavy bout of depression these feelings come back. When I was with my gf I started caring about life, about school, about work, having money, all of that, but now that I'm not with her I'm back to where I've always been.

    Can anyone else relate?
  2. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Hey justme, I can totally relate. I feel exactly the same. Only reason I ever actually do anything is because I don't want people to notice what's going on. So I still manage to go to uni, and even get my assignments handed in (although they suck). The only thing I care about at all is hiding how I'm feeling, although even that is slipping because I don't even care about that anymore.

    I completely live for other people, and never do anything for myself. Hell, the only reason I'm still hiding the crazy is because I know my family couldn't deal with it.

    I think I know what you mean when you talk about feeling like a "weirdo, freak show, crazy person", because as you say, who doesn't care about anything? Everyone always has something they care about. Except us, I guess. When people talk about their assignments at uni or birthdays, anything really, I really have to make an effort to sound even the slightest bit interested because really I couldn't care less. So at least you're not alone.

  3. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    happens lots.

    sometimes I don't ever feel hunger- but I eat because I know that I'm supposed to. I also cry when I get hurt; even though I'm normally pretty numb- because I know that I should.
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    I am not depressed now, but have been very depressed, and like you I never cared about those things- (ok money and a safe place to stay that's it.) I couldn't understand why people were so anxious about climbing ladders to "be" something- you might find so many people don't really truly care about doing all that, they just feel anxious and left out. I never did.

    It's not crazy, you have different concerns maybe than others around you? You say you care about other people, that can be rare and maybe more important than what everybody else says you 'should' care about? :dunno:
  5. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    It is great to hear about how much you continue care for the welfare others despite the typical depressive illness symptoms of lost interests, hope and motivation. Your sensitivity is not your downfall- it makes you a valuable person and this world needs sensitive/empathetic people like you.

    You have a treatable, manageable even reversible illness. :console:
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Yepp!! Your not alone.. I feel that way constantly.. The only things I care about are my friends I have met here and my dog.. He keeps me motivated slightly..For the most part I stay in my bedroom 24/7.. I just can't find what would make me happy..
  7. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    Justme00, I can relate to like others, at least it's good your body can take care of yourself. I'm going thru and have for a while lot of same not carings...could care less about my job, gonna end up quitting,:unsure: don't care enough about having goals or motivation or leaving the house, pretty much what you mentioned. No solutuins from me, but I can really relate, I'm sure some other posters will have some good thoughts or suggestions, they normally do.:biggrin:
  8. Stormhand

    Stormhand Well-Known Member

    I don't care about my family, my dad's side anyways.
    Its liek they do not know how to look at me.
    Cause my Disability makes me this weak person to them.
    It just hurts alot when I am there in the room knowing this, and they give my brother the attention, this even happened the night my dad died.
    It makes me feel so lost and unwanted.
    But in my own defense, I will not and cannot care for anyone that does not care about me, so screw'em.
  9. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    Thanks everyone for the replies :)
  10. ihatelifex666

    ihatelifex666 Member

    When I read your post I felt chills down my spine because you feel EXACTLY how I feel almost everyday. I see all these people around me laughing, smiling, having FUN, and I think to myself "What the hell is wrong with me?". It seems like the only things that make me happy nowadays are alcohol and the occasional fling and thats almost a rarity now due to my lack of income.

    I also have an immense capacity for caring for others. Sometimes I think I run off other peoples feelings, like I can mentally FEEL what they're feeling, and I never can just create my own mood. I wish so hard to just wake up one day and these feelings be gone, but I'm not sure if that will ever happen. Well thanks for your post, its nice to know I'm not the only person out there with these thoughts..
  11. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    It's your sensitivity that enables you to feel what others are feeling, almost replacing what or how you feel. I have it too, I like to think of it as a "6th sense" if you will, our profound sensitivity.

    The alcohol helps me too. It helps me be more social, open up, and express myself, and also it decreases the sensitivity, perhaps because it numbs me. But then of course I always feel sick or guilty afterwards.

    Glad my post helped you :)
  12. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I know a couple of people who claim to be 'empaths', which basically means that they can feel other people's emotions, which seems to be what you're both describing. I used to scoff at this idea, but recently I have discovered that I definitely respond so clearly to people's mood, even on the TV (on Jeremy Kyle a father and son found each other after 41 years and I nearly cried with happiness, which is not like me at all)!

  13. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Oh yeah, totally know how that feels. It sucks! It's actually pretty frustrating because a lot of the people around me mistake it for lazyness. Don't get me wrong, deep down I actually want to do something, I just feel incapable. I dunno, it's like trying to start a knackered engine.
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