ever regret attempting?

[Rizzo]

The only way I see myself regret attempting is if it puts me into a worse situation. For example, if I wind up paralyzed or something. As of now, like many people have said, my only regret is my lack of success.

 

[HoneyBadger610]

As a few others have stated, I never regretted attempting - I regret failing. That's not something I would ever admit out loud or to anyone I know. The spirit is an amazingly strong entity, isn't it? Twice I should have been dead. And not only am I not dead, but I don't have any ill effects from 2 very serious attempts. I still can't quite figure out why I reached out for help in January. But I did. And some amazing people responded. And I'm here. And I wish I wasn't.

 

[Starrbaby235]

The first time I attempted when I was 17 after I was raped from a guy from work. I took a lot of pills and didn't regret it, blacked out and woke up the next morning in my bathroom and went to school.. the second time I was 20 and overdosed again this time I took so much that I blacked out again and right before I did my heart was beating so fast I thought I was having a heart attack. My mother found me in my bathroom and I woke up on icu two days later and was rushed to the ward. I was more so embarrassed that I survived than anything. I refer being sui scared and thinking "this is really it!" But I was lethargic and my stomach in knots and felt quite miserable. Now I'm 23 and thinking about attempting again but I remember at the chaos it caused with my job, family, etc so when I do it again I want to succeed. I don't want to live through that shame again not do I want to go to the ward again already been twice and the last time they kept me for almost two weeks. I'm so afraid of pain so pulls always seemed easier, but my neighbor succeeded at an overdose and deficated allover herself and bleed out everywhere. I don't want mine to be like that. Just clean and easy.

 

[Jae]

..i dont regret it..but I DO REGRET not being able to succeed it..

 

[Veryunfairlysuicidal]

I can tell you that there are cases that you may not realize and therefore cannot form in your mind, when there is actually no hope to get better. Those are rare and I'm not talking about a mental disorder. I'm talking something happening that makes someone never be able to get their will to live back, and then I think it's really up to the person to decide what to do. In some very rare cases you can think to urself that it would actually be dumb to continue living. You shouldn't be forced to stay in prison if you don't have to. But probably that's not something that you or almost anyone else will ever understand.

Some people can get struck by a lightning, but it happens to very, very few. I happen to know because it has happened to me, and I know that you can't understand or believe that. It has to happen to yourself for you to understand.

 

[Struggler_]

I'm not one for half measures or cries for attention, so the time I came close...I came close. My step father was until late last year a cop, and kept a couple firearms in the house. At my worst, I picked the lock on the cabinet he kept his handguns, and legitimately contemplated using one of them to end my life. When it comes to guns, there's generally no attempts made -- you either do it or you don't do it. Now, while my problems with depression have not come close to ending, and I'm constantly fighting the desire to die, I'm still glad I didn't end my life then. I've experienced a great deal since then, and it's things like that, that keep me going. What will happen? What's next for me? Had I killed myself then, I'd never have met the woman that I spent four years of my life with. That didn't have a fairy tale ending, but I value the experience nonetheless. Had I gone through with it, obviously my suffering would have ended, but so would everything else, like the few flare ups of happiness. I'm content in riding the few bursts of happiness. For now.

 

[mandy-]

I regretted the one that actually should've killed me yeah. I really regretted it but I was in a very good mood the days after (even though I was in the hospital then psych ward) it was weird, maybe because I was happy to be alive?

 

[gelfling_1]

I regret a phone call I made shortly before I passed out....I called an old friend to apologize for being such a horrible person and then dropped the phone into the bath as I started losing consciousness. He lived several states away and found a way to call my parents who drove 30 minutes to my home, broke in, and took me to the hospital. The whole situation just proved that doctors and hospitals don't talk to each other or give you help after things like this. The nurses were not shy with their total disdain for me. It just teaches you to be more ashamed of what's going on in your head and to be even more withdrawn and secretive which just makes things worse.

 

[myname]

Guess I'm like a lot of you I only regret not succeeding. Been planning it again and I will not make the same mistake again. I know nothing is foolproof but some plans are more likely to succeed than others. Do not want the humiliation of not succeeding at this.

 

[stapleremover]

I attempted several times about 6 years ago, and I regret the two attempts that left my son (preteen at the time) sort of stranded while he was staying with me (my husband and I had separated about a year and a half prior and I'd moved out). There were other attempts around that time, and then after thinking that suicidal thoughts were behind me and assuming it would never happen again, I attempted twice again a few months ago. By then my son had already completed his freshman year in college and was home for the summer (he has lived with his father ever since my last attempt in 2008 - my ex is supportive of me and I've been able to spend time with my son whenever I wanted after he went to live with his dad so that's good).

As far as the other attempts, I'm not really sure. I'm feeling like I'm sort of in the clear now and on top of the depression, and glad I'm still alive, but part of me still kind of wishes I had been successful when I attempted again a few months ago. I always feel like I should regret my attempts more than I actually do. Life is still hard and fighting the depression takes a lot of effort. I guess I don't have anything really more profound to say at the moment...just joined the forum tonight.

 

[Amanda]

I never regretted it at the time that I was doing it. Even my most serious attempt when I was rapidly passing out in the ambulance and I thought that for sure that time I was about to be successful, I was sad that I was going to die but I didnt regret what I had done.

Now though, looking back on it, I regret virtually all of my attempts.

 

[renragj2]

I only regret failing. Being afraid of failing again is a problem. Your so right about people being mad or just plain pissed. They seem to forget that there most be some major hurting, sadness, or that your just done with it all, for you to do it. Instead of helping they won't even look your way.

 

[Well...onnthebrightside]

I attempted when I was 14 years old. I've always wondered if I was mature enough to really know what I was doing.. So that's always driven regretful feelings: being embarrassed for being so foolish at such a young age. However I am now 24 and 10 years on I've slipped into a really bad depression and I'm having suicidal thoughts. So was it really just foolishness at 14? Perhaps not.. Perhaps I really was just that depressed I couldn't go on. And looking back in it.. Yes, I was definitely low enough for the suicide to be legitimate. I regret it, and I don't regret it for different reasons.

Would I attempt again? I think that if my life took a couple of turns for the worse I would probably attempt. But for now, although I think about it, I have some things in my life I love and drive me to keep going. If that got taken away then I believe my depression would force me out of the realm of rational thinking and I'd be gone. I just hope that doesn't happen because I don't want to do it. I really don't. I want to live a long and successful life. A good career and a loving family, a life I can have pride in. That's what I strive for. If I commit then I take the possibility of such happiness away forever. I don't want to do that

 

[FMyLife]

Everyday.

I attempted back in April and almost succeeded, but survival has left me with permanent health issues that I will have to manage for the rest of my life. Since that attempt, I have gotten married and tried to move forwards but have already had my life interrupted by a hospitalization due to those health issues. I feel like I will be a burden on my wife because of this, I'm scared to try for certain things for fear I won't be around for it. So yeah, I regret it greatly.

 

[ATLAFlame]

I regret the overdose attempt especially, as it has left potential brain damage (I get conscious seizures now) and it's a real pain in the arse. I also regret my first ever suicide attempt, a hanging, because I've had a painful neck ever since. So yes, I do regret them, but at the same time, wished they'd worked

 

[Crumb]

I have never felt bad after attempting. I only feel bad that it 1) didn't work or 2) that I didn't. completely follow through/ did it incorrectly. I only regret it being an "attempt".

 

[cheekychick]

I only regret that my attempts never work

 

[iamnothere]

I'm sure I posted in here earlier.

 

[JmpMster]

If you posted timelines of when you plan suicide or methods of how or anything against the guidelines then your post may have been deleted. You can review the guidelines for posting at http://www.suicideforum.com/faq.php

 

[nararabbit]

I regret the pain, suffering and fear it brought to my family, and the upheaval in my life that it caused. I don't regret the actual attempt, because as my therapist said, I was completely lost at sea and trying to deal in the only way I knew how. Now that I am older and have better coping mechanisms, it is easier to resist the siren song.

I do hate that every time I come up against something that feels insurmountable or overly upsetting, my brain's first response is that if I was dead, I wouldn't have to deal with XYZ. On the other hand, it's oddly nice to know if it ever gets way too much, I have a way out.