I have had a number of attempts; each closer and closer to the brink of death. It is not regret that is keeping me alive. It is the fear of God afterwards. I am driven to commit suicide... I just can not cope with life any longer. The mental anguish I am suffering is almost unbearable.
When considering what my actions will do to others; I have thought long and hard about that and the end result comes to the fact that I can not live my life to please others.. they have to understand the mental suffering I have been enduring for several years. I know this is tragic; I have tried my best to prepare them for the inevitable. and they worry a lot about me.
I just do not know how long I can hold on... it is a day by day struggle for me. I been in several hospitals and have not found permanent relief. I have found some relief by taking Prozac. I also found that I am depressed because of my out of control diabetes and by not getting a good night's sleep each night.
When considering what my actions will do to others; I have thought long and hard about that and the end result comes to the fact that I can not live my life to please others.. they have to understand the mental suffering I have been enduring for several years. I know this is tragic; I have tried my best to prepare them for the inevitable. and they worry a lot about me.
I just do not know how long I can hold on... it is a day by day struggle for me. I been in several hospitals and have not found permanent relief. I have found some relief by taking Prozac. I also found that I am depressed because of my out of control diabetes and by not getting a good night's sleep each night.