Ever saw a helpless person and it made you helpless?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Veclord, Feb 6, 2008.

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  1. Veclord

    Veclord Active Member

    I went up to the gas station and saw a girl hanging around beside the building. She was moderately attractive so I went up to speak to her. I just walked up and said hello and told her that I just felt like asking how she was doing and what loser was it that left her sitting outside the 7-11 by herself.

    She said her fiance told her to leave and not to come back until she came up with 20 dollars and she mentioned that her aunt had thrown her out also. After that she told me (in a tone of distress) that she guess she had to just whore in the street. I said that she knew she didn't have to do anything like that and she said that she didn't have a choice...

    ...At this point I just froze and got choked up with this inner conflict. I thought about how easy it was to just hand her 20 bucks and leave, but deep down I felt like that this was in issue with drugs and perhaps prostitution of some form (whether forced or not) and that it would feed one if not both of those vices. So instead of doing that, trying to argue with her, or trying to force some sort of religious thinking on her I just told her that I'd be praying for her and asked that when she got the chance that she prayed for me too also. I just walked away.

    The problem is that although this interaction was short it disturbed and upset me deeply just by the simple fact that she would probably looked like a super model if she would stop smoking that shit. Also after having made a post in this thread yesterday, it further fuels my feelings of being completely useless when it comes to helping others. Don't get me wrong, I'm not walking through my life trying to be some hero to every person I pass by. I'm just sick of being around others that are hurting and failing at doing anything about it. Someone tell me their thoughts. Was there something I should have done or said that I didn't?
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 6, 2008
  2. 0x0

    0x0 Guest

    Stuff like this just is.

    Hard to watch, but it's reality.

    It was very kind of you to offer her a gentle word and a prayer.
    There's nothing you did wrong, and even if there were, there's nothing you can do about it now.

    Better to just acknowledge that this shit is how life goes.

    You're good for wanting to help people and feeling compassion for those hurt. But good only goes so far.

    You have to be reasonable, too. There are billions of people in this world without the coping skills they need. If you can make a person's life that much more bearable for just a few minutes then that's great; go for it.

    However, in this situation, the girl's on her own. Out of your hands.

    :hug: You feel it because you're compassionate. Your compassion alone is more than many others have -- hardly are you useless in that respect.

    You've done no wrong. Things just are. Try not to worry about it too much.
  3. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    There are lots of ways to help, have you considered volunteer work?
  4. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

  5. nicesinging1

    nicesinging1 Well-Known Member

    It is just tragic how there are so many temptations in life such as drugs, alcohol and sex and so many people's lives are ruined by them.
    If there were less abuses, pains, and sufferings in life in this world, there would be less drug addicts, alcoholics, sex addicts, etc... I am not defending them for making poor choices in their lives. It is just that some people are not mentally strong enough to cope with pains and sufferings and turn to drugs, alcohol, and other vices to numb their pains somehow.
    Just tragic how many lives are ruined by drugs and alcohol.
  6. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    When I was around 12, the junkies used to mug us real often, because 12 year olds have money but are small and scare easily and are easy to mug. So once in a while I'd see kids my age get mugged and there was nothing I could do. The junkies were a few years older, a lot bigger, there was nothing to do. I could do nothing.
    Once a couple of junkies tried to mug me in the middle of city. Downtown. I started screaming and swearing like the anticrhist. The passers-by, they looked uncomfortable and passed by. They looked at me getting mugged, screaming about it, shouting, foaming, and they did nothing. In the end the muggers got fed up and I ran away.
    And I'll never forget those people passing by and looking at me. Those couples, those hot 20 year old couples, the handsome boys with their pretty girls, the 40 year old aunts, the 60 year old granpas, I'm not gonna forget those guys, because I always wondered, what the hell would I have done in their place?
  7. k0000

    k0000 Member

    this is one of my major issues.

    i get depressed FOR other people.
  8. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    Honestly, I think you did the right thing in the situation. What could you do? Give her money which would help in the short term but may lead to a worse situation. It's not much comfort, but what were you going to do give her a place to stay? Send her to rehab? Call the cops? I mean, are any of those options one viable and two better then where she is? Tough to say . . . Horrible situation for her to be in . . .
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