Ever so lonely

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thebaronspell, Jul 30, 2011.

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  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    I'm so lonely, the girl who I loved to bits still is declaring her love for me but is seeing someone else. She has hurt me so much and now she said if I take any pills in order to have an over doze she'll never speak to me again. I'm hurting so much but she won't let me do anything to stop the pain it's unfair. She caused all this and she keeps saying she's confused and hasn't got what she wants, I haven't got anything :(

    I've only just got my appetite back and ate something for the first time in four days :(

    So alone!
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Glad you finally ate something :smile:
    I was in a position where I was waiting for my ex to make a decision.
    It wasnt another woman but basically I was left hanging in the air, with no say in what was basically my whole life.
    We split, life was chaos, misery and outright foul tbh.
    SF saved my life and sanity and here I am 5 years on thinking the person I was married to was not the person I thought he was and WOW what an escape.

    When the initial shock has dulled down a bit, have a really good think about what you want and whether you are really willing to let this other person, basically, leave you dangling.
    I thought, at the time, that knowing would be the worst thing, but actually in hindsight, it was the not knowing, the not having any autonomy that was the worst and then I was left with the anger at myself for letting this person walk over me.

    My PM box is always open for the lonely times and have you tried chat yet?
    If you dont want to go in alone, we could arrange a time to go in together :smile:
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I don't know when the football (what we call soccer here) season is in the UK. Maybe there are games you can go watch. :) Hope your feeling of loneliness subsides a little soon.

    In the meantime, I'm glad you're safe. :hugtackles: I'm feeling lonely too, so if you want to talk, my PM box is always open as well.

    P.S. I'm in awe; Terry is offering to go into chat with you! That is so rare! I'd take that opportunity to go in with her (or him if she's a man because she thinks I think she's a man) in a heartbeat if I were you! I don't think I've seen her in chat before. Maybe once at the most; I can't remember. I think I've seen you in chat before though, although it probably was months ago. ;)
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    It hurts less to lose a woman you love than it does to share her.

    I know that for sure!

    And as for being lonely - if the relationship did have a physical level (if you were intimate with her shall we say?) then is it loneliness or is it lust? I mean even if you do 'love her to bits' - then you got to feel a passion - likely shared that passion. You miss this - and its easy to confuse passion with love. Some men will say they feel lonely two days after breaking up with someone. They will look for someone else - ASAP. And with depression its easy to seek comfort in a series of affairs - each rebounding the next.

    Or you can just pick up strangers - hope the pillow talk is like free therapy - lol. With me - the pillow talk makes me want to immediately march to a cliff and jump. I know - I should go for intellectuals. Its a catch 22 - the intelligent women see through me - the ones not so clever, I'm not that attracted to.

    Anyhow - its your issues baron - I lost myself there bro.

    Your a young man, not bad looking - and likely in good shape. I share the last one - but am confident enough to not worry about the first two.

    IF I was in your situation - I'd get out of it. Even if was just casual - I'd be well away from the 'scene' - its damage limitation time - some men will maybe hang around because, to be frank a lot of men will do that.

    Your not like that. You want romance as well as the intimacy. However, you've got another man in your head now. You will kiss her and think of him - no?

    And lets be frank - I hope your using a condom if its gone to that stage. Two men - one woman? Add up any other connections and it gets crowded in some beds. Even the child (it can happen) would be a DNA gamble - and if it was yours - you'd always think that but for a chance of fate - luck - you'd be the husband - the father.

    I see this happen all the time. It must be bad when a man even thinks he has to DNA test his own child.

    Anyhow, I know its hard but right now you have painful choices. One can get more painful. (holding out hope of this women) the other can only get better - it hurts now but you'll meet another woman who actually agrees to just date you.

    I mean, that is still the normal way of doing things. It makes you feel so much better when your woman is actually just yours. Sharing her - ought to make you feel ill! And jealous. That is normal indeed for most people.

    It is not the only way - but for most men its just too much trouble to have a woman who is making her mind up - playing with both of you - seeing who cooks best, talks best, listens. She is likely feeling real good about herself - some woman need the attention and will damage any man foolish enough to be enticed into playing that role.

    Some do flit from man to man like men flit from woman to woman. I'm not judging - but I'm not going to be buying her Valentines card either or making any moves. Apart from in the opposite direction.

    Well - my verdict is find another woman but find yourself a little bit more before the next one.

    There is more to life.

    We have football now.

    Then again, your team is maybe the kind which makes you phone the Samaritans? Mine - almost the same!!!! We should win more. It worries me - and then I forget about woman - and relationships and holding hands hands in Disneyland (when you want to get wrecked in some dive in Germany)

    Think football.
  5. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Problem is I think 'football' too much and girls don't want to know. I've curved my passion for it in a way where girls tend to think I'm just a fan rather then a fanatic. I used to go all the time, depression and the fact the football until recently has been shockingly bad to watch meant I didn't go as much last season. Went yesterday to a pre-season friendly and finally ate something. A friend's mum who I don't even know has kindly asked me to go to church with her as it helped lift the depression in her family. I'm not a religious type but I'm really up for anything that will help me. I've lost far too much weight, my clothes don't fit now. My ex until this afternoon said I was being totally insensitive to her which was uncalled for!

    I'm a nice guy, I'm going to give up if I continue to be fecked around with
  6. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Hey Baron - if football is a passion - I mean a love you had since before puberty! Make sure any woman you score with at least allows you the upstairs TV if you move in!

    Work a schedule - watch your football - maybe 5--side would be ideal for you - or just the kick around with a few lads.

    And the lucky lady , you can give her 90 minutes, 15 minutes half time back onto the field of play! A quick break for the halfway line - a neat sliding tackle - lol, and your into the penalty box, dummy the defender, and, its a goal!!!!!

    Then have another game later on when you have had a couple of bottles in the pub.

    Thing is - you got to be open with women from the off. Depends how far your taking it - but you have a definite 'next level' - me not so much really - I'm learning but I'm not about to tell ANY woman what lurks in my head and soul - just as of yet.

    But things like football? Tell her - tell her BEFORE you want to get intimate! Otherwise you might hide certain habits and end up juggling issues - most silly ones - but obviously the big issue!

    and here is something to ponder....

    What we want - we do not always need.

    What we NEED, we all want.

    Anyhow brother - as for the church - why not? I go sometimes - most weeks - its a small catholic church, nobody is going to grab you and drive devils from you! Nobody starts jumping in the aisle!

    I know a few good people there. I walked a beautiful woman home the other night after mass - kissed her! Yes. Shame she was 83 really.

    I go to church for me not to get some action. I get on with our priest and tell him we ought to let priests get married - and obviously have a woman. If so - maybe I'd have thought of being some real cool priest.

    Anyhow, I absolve you - go in peace.

    Your sidekick - PLG
  7. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Cheers PLG.
    I was drunk once and told her I'd even miss Match Of The Day to sit through whatever she wanted. Now if thay isn't a sign of commitment and dedication I don't know what is? :p

    I'm thinking about church a lot now. Can I be honest? I'm not really motivated by sex it isn't the path of glory for me, I'm content with a boxset and some ice cream most of the time. Just need somebody to be my companion so that I don't end up sitting through the same season of Prison Break more then five times. Do ya know what I mean mate?

    Meanwhile my team is selling our new kits on Saturday before kick off. Might opt for the new pink number? Got the body now that I've lost weight having not eaten last week. :)
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