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Ever think people are talking about you behind your back?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Petal, Aug 16, 2014.

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  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm even talking about on here or in ''real life'' although in a way this IS real life but y'know what I mean. Is it really normal? Or is it paranoia ? I get these feelings all the time but in the last few days it has increased. I wish if someone had something bad to say about me they would approach me. I am not talking about any particular incident, this is just generalized, maybe anxiety? I don't know why I'm even posting this or should just keep it to myself and brush these feelings off! But just want to let my feeling out, it's always better to let them out.
  2. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    I feel that way all the timeā€¦.
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Yeah, I feel that way all the time...of course, I am used to people actually talking behind my back, so that may be where some of the paranoia comes from. Have you had any bad experiences in the past that might have caused you to start feeling this way?
  4. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    I feel like that all the time, it might be insecurities , I always feel judged Or watched etc... Maybe it's paranoia but it may have been from bullying I received as a kid... Who knows ... If I'm doing something and I'm failing at it or whatever I start to shake.. So maybe I'm afraid of being embarrassed it's a number of reasons for me that I have never narrowed, I try to ignore it but I do think some people do talk behind my back, wish they would say it to my face...

    Witty may be right there may have been bad experiences that may bring up these feelings..
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I think a lot of it comes down to anxiety and paranoia. I have been in situations where I believed people to be talking about me, and it made me anxious as hell, but really the anxiety was feeding the paranoia, then the paranoia was feeding the anxiety. In the end I was just like, and so what? It doesn't really matter what anybody else says or thinks as I find that it has nothing to do with most people and they should keep their nose out of my business anyway.
  6. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I know people talk about me behind my back. What they say is their opinion (and who am I to say they aren't allowed one?) - but it's not my business to know what they think/say unless it's something derogatory (my first name is Gary - if they were to call me Gary Glitter I wouldn't be amused because of the stigma attached to that name as an example) - where others can form a negative connotation to it.
  7. shadowonthewall

    shadowonthewall Well-Known Member

    I do, but to be honest, I think that it is somewhat justified for me to feel that way. I come across either as excessively quiet, or if not, as rather odd. Possibly both. People have told me about conversations they've had about me when I wasn't around, so I know that it does happen.
  8. SoleSpider

    SoleSpider Member

    I don't think what you're feeling is abnormal, it's just the way you feel. Whether it's true or not, it's the way you feel.

    That was never an abnormal way of thinking for me when I was younger (I'm 42 now), mostly because as a child I was bullied and had endless confirmations that many many people were talking negatively about me. It wasn't hidden, it was out in the open and in my face. For anyone I didn't outright hear judging me, just by the ostracizing and avoidance I got from the rest it was clear. Not an easy way to grow up and not any easier when at home I was criticized non-stop by my father. What killed me was that if people were judging me based on negative things I did or for begin a bad person, I could almost live with that but what I learned at an early age is that people are even crueler than they think they can be and what I was bullied over, made fun of, criticized for or avoided over was that I was a small-sized foreign kid with a weird name and unattractive features. I was introverted and because of my family situation I didn't know how to communicate with others "normally" so I could barely find my way to any friends of the few people who didn't try to kill my soul every chance they got.

    I made myself stronger over the years and try not to care about what people think so long as I don't hear it. When I hear it, which is rare now because I'm an adult and surrounded by adults most of the time, it still hurts just as much as being the little bullied boy. It also hurts to know that even when people aren't outright judging or humiliating me in front of others, that I'm still not a person people reach out to. Not many people want me around which is like a self-confirmation of my lingering paranoia.

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