have you ever felt terrible for a long time, but finally something started to happen in your life that would change everything? i don't want to be specific, but recently this happened to me. after years of depression and suffering it looked like things were finally going to be good. an opportunity to finally be happy in my life came. but it didn't last. before anything actually came of it, it all went wrong. now I am beside myself with dispair. I felt bad before, but now I feel 10x worse than I did. It is torture, plain and simple. it's like offering a starving man a sandwich, and then giving it to him, but ripping it out of his hand again before he can eat it. That's exactly what it feels like to me. Life is just agony until I die. I need to face it.