Ever want to just delete everything?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Cytrix, Aug 21, 2016.

  1. Cytrix

    Cytrix Member

    I have periods and bouts where my depression is bad where I want to remove everything I'm on, online. It's like I go through a liquidation process and don't want to deal with a load on my shoulders by having to routinely check everything. When I know in advance that nothing interesting is ever going to come out of it.

    I've tried deleting my FB over a dozen times, but I keep coming back feeling I'll alienate everyone. Only to be met with the same results the longer I stay - complete silence. I start going around other places I'm at, deleting or asking for deactivation of accounts because I just simply don't have the will to continue interacting in the community.

    Ending up abandoning accounts too when they're tied to e-mails I later delete. People don't even have the common courtesy to be asking about my reasoning, they just watch me as I practically destroy everything around me. They must think it's an immature act when really, I'm emotionally unstable and so frustrated with how many things are running in place for me right now. They sometimes tell me that I should do whatever I think will make me happy.

    Newsflash, I DON'T know what makes me happy! And if I did, it'd be death but I'm not going down that route just yet. I'm just going around deleting what I think is a problem for me when chances are likely I'm just deleting for the sake of deleting. I do have people who miss me when I leave but it's unfortunate that they don't grasp the bigger picture by me not telling them or that they're understanding by fractions.

    I can't even tell who I should remove from my life anymore. I've dispatched two long-tenured friends of mine whom I felt were not doing anything for the benefit of my friendship. I've vaguely detailed about what they've done in another thread of mine. I felt that if they aren't going to do anything for the benefit of their lives, then what could they possibly bring to the table for our friendship to stay afloat? We've seen better days, for sure, but I believe we've finally reached a deadend. It sucks, but something has to be done and if they don't want to do anything - I will.

    Sometimes I just want to disappear from everything and not be found again.
  2. calvinandhobbs

    calvinandhobbs Well-Known Member

    I have. I deleted everything. All my texts...that was long. All my emails sent and received and in trash, all my accounts. For fb I deleted all my friends and set my who can see my stuff to friends only. I could care less who see my stuff if I am not here. So, ya. Me, too.
  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    I stopped going on FB. Hadn't logged in it in almost 5 months. My husband insists I do, but I refuse. I delete texts daily and phone logs. Only place I go online is this website. I rarely call friends and family members except my husband. Mostly I stay home a lot unless I have appointments or need food for home.

    Always here if you want to talk. Message me anytime. I hope things gets better soon. Hugs
    iam likes this.
  4. iam

    iam SF Supporter

    Yes, I don't so much deactivate my accounts but I just disappear and disconnect, not just online but from people around me too. I've had a bit of a mini meltdown over the last few weeks after I'd been doing pretty good. I seem to just disappear without even thinking about it. It doesn't seem to matter how I'm connected or how much I like them, I'm really ruthless and just cut everyone out. I sometimes think I should live isolated up in the highlands, just me and my dogs but I know I couldn't do it. I really do need people in my life
  5. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    I have not wanted to delete everything but at times I do not really check my Facebook or texts.