Every aspect of my life is a failure!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jacob1973, Jan 11, 2011.

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  1. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    I was going to end my life on Jan 1st, but somehow I am still around. So much with ending the new year with a *#*$. Anyway, so I just found out that my job position is ending in the next 3 weeks here, and I have to try to sell my home and move away from all my friends and family. That is the toughest thing because I am single, and my parents are elderly and in poor health. All my siblings are married off with families.

    Financially, I am destroyed! Emotionally, I have no chance at love, and hate my life, job and expect to not have a future. I kindof just walk around now in just a daze, and simply go to work when they call me, but other than that, I have no purpose to my life.

    I have been trying to sell my house for 2 years, and havnt been able to. Maybe my company might help me pay for it to move me, but that is something that the lawyers are still fighting out between my company and union.

    I dont know why I subscribed again to match dating service. I really dont expect to find a date, but figured "what the heck".. maybe one of the last things I might do in life is get one last date before I die. I am tired of trying to date, and having women walk away sometimes in the first 30 seconds of me meeting them. "oh your Jacob". Sometimes the date may go longer, but I think that its more out of pity than out of interest for me. I never hear from them again. So I just dont care anymore about finding love.

    Then I have been having some health problems with teeth, and the doctors cant trace down the problems. I am in almost constant jaw pain.

    Why should I even care anymore? My life is destroyed, and I see nothing left. I am not going to spend the next 20 years by myself, all alone. I cant take that!:itachi:
  2. jay67

    jay67 Member

    Your life and your value

    acob, I'm glad to hear you reaching out in the way you have via this forum by sharing with us your feelings. Many of us know what it's like to feel that everything is so hopeless in our lives, to suffer so much that suicide seems like the best option. I really hear how frustrated and sad you feel right now and I want you to know that you're not alone. Many people are facing economic difficulties because of the global recession and you are certainly not to be blamed for that. I don't know the nature of why you think you cannot attract a partner, whether it's a matter of self-esteem or something else but if you can touch me as you have in your post, I have no doubt that you quite capable of finding someone with whom to develop an intimate and loving relationship.
    Keep safe and continue reaching out.
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Re: Your life and your value

    Hey Jacob, glad to hear that you have decided to stick around. Good luck with the match dating service. I hope you find yourself a nice girlfriend. :)
  4. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

    My dad got home from the hospital last night, and this morning we had to take him to the ER and Medflight him to a major city. He is seriously ill, and I have been at ER all day with him. I cant drive the nearly 3 hours to that major city till tomarrow, so I am so incredibly stressed out.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I hope your dad makes a full recovery. :hug:
  6. Jacob the fact that you did not kill yourself is a good sign part of you is wanting to hold on. Dont worry about love just yet get your self together first emotionaly I mean. If your life is a total mess the only way to fix it is by doing small things towards fixing it and emotions is a good place to start. There is always hope no matter what pepole try to tell you. If you have negative pepole around you then you best not listen to them they will only drag you down.

    I am sure that if you sort your life out and find purpose you will in turn find a partner. There may be someone who has hurt just like you that will be in your future you just dont know these things. The thing that totally changed my life was my faith in Jesus Christ there is power in his name. I dont want to say anymore on that because religion is not allowed to be spoke unless in the soap box. I hope this message wont be deleted but if it is oh well.

    Good Luck at puting your life back together and finding purpose.

    Jacob How Do You Defeat A Man That Cant See Defeat!
    Always remember that BrothA:cool:
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