There are times when i can hear nothing but my own breath. Coming from my lungs, in and out of my nostrils. What am I breathing in? Anxiety. Fear. Pain. Hurt and anguish. Guilt. Misery. Its like a thick dark smoke. I can feel it in my chest as if it was scraping the walls of my lungs. It sounds similar to someone stuck in a tunnel or someone on a respirator. i remember this sounds well. A few years ago I drove home from work and there was a cat laying out in the middle of the street. He had been hit by a car. He was motionless. I thought he was completely dead. After I called the animal shelter to get someone to pick him up, I looked out of my window and he was gone. I went outside to see where he was and all of a sudden i heard this faint breath. Air mixed with blood. He was laying on the side of the street near the sidewalk. His head was swollen, and he had a compound fracture in one of his back legs. He was bloody and eyes swollen shut. I sat on the sidewalk next to him, waiting for the shelter worker to get there. All I could hear is just his last breaths. I pet him on the tip of his back. The only redeeming aspect of his misery was that it would be over soon. The worker finally got there. Picked him up, put him in the back of his truck and the cat was put to sleep. It symbolized my own life in a sense. How broken I am. How all people in my life do is rub me on the tip of my back. Tell me itll be alright. That theyre praying for me and God is with me. All the cliche stuff you tell people when you cant help them. And there is no hope. Shows how life can turn for the worse in just a split second. If only. What if. Thats my whole life. What if. How the only thing im reduced to now is just a faint breath. Ive lost everything. My mind and body is ravaged with pain, depression and anguish. Im lost. I cant see anymore. My eyes are swollen shut. I cant move forward. My legs are broken. Im bleeding to death. Noone cares. I want to die so bad. But I cant. Yet. The best i can do is just curl up on the safest side of a busy road and breathe. Unfortunately for me. Noone is coming to put me out of my misery. And I dont have the courage to do it on my own.