Every Day Hurts.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TooShyToScream, Feb 8, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I complain all the time about the same thing...the depression and hopelessless I feel every day. I really can't help it, though. It hurts.

    I watched the original Alice in Wonderland a couple of days ago. It was my favorite when I was a little kid, and it made me happy (a lot of disney movies used to make me happy)...I felt like a kid again watching it. I felt an ounce of that same happiness that I used to. But now I'm sad thinking about it because I hardly ever feel this happiness anymore.

    This is a pain that only mind-altering drugs can take away, those which make me delusional and unaware of what's going on around me. Not anti-depressants.

    Why is this happening? I'm at my college right now, recently finished my lunch, and now I feel the lonliness building up and I feel like crying. But there's no reason to. Nothing is even wrong. Why do I feel so bad when nothing is wrong? Why does everything seem so pointless? I just wish somebody could help me.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2011
  2. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    FUCK. I really, really want to kill myself. Why does he feel the need to look up these fucking movies all the time and tell me how "bad" or "not bad" or "somewhat bad" they are. I DON'T care! I don't need to know or think about this stuff, especially while I'm trying to get through my day at school. He doesn't realize that if he says a certain movie is bad, I start thinking about what could possibly be in it, and start upsetting myself!

    And by bad, I don't mean bad plot. I mean sex and nudity. I can't watch these things in movies, they upset me...when I watch them alone they trigger bad thoughts and if I watch them with my fiance, I keep getting paranoid that he finds someone attractive. I think these thoughts even about characters who aren't depicted in a sexual way sometimes, those who are make me completely freak out and my mind starts racing and I feel suicidal.

    Why does he do this shit to me, knowing it bothers me? Not to mention, if he reads the parental guide for a certain movie and it says "breasts are shown" or something like that, it means that while reading, he's going to have the brief image of breasts in his mind because we often visualize what we read. And now I have to think about all this shit and be miserable because he felt the need to tell me that a movie he looked up was "so bad he doesn't know

    how they showed it in theaters". Great thanks. Totally needed to know that. I'm getting to the point where I don't want to watch movies of any kind at all anymore that aren't PG.
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Tanya. Sometimes, doing things that used to bring joy and happiness will help during the low points. Are there other movies or things that you used to enjoy doing? :hug:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.