Every day I wake feeling a little closer

[Hopeiseverything]

Does anyone ever feel like every day they feel like they get a little closer to the end? living should not be this tiring but it is....waiting for the day to end is no way to ‘live’ yet thoughts of the hurt I would cause my family and being in hell keeps me here. How the heck do you long time survivors do this? I have been in this hell for 3 years and it feels like an eternity........never would have thought retirement would lead me here. All because of one person who destroyed my life one fateful day, Thanks for listening to my frequent rants about the same thing.

 

[The Tigress ♡]

Hey you're not alone. There are many instances whereby I feel negativity spiral in me. Hope you can find much compassion and support here like I do.
Feel better soon. We are here for you.

 

[1964dodge]

at my age i'm creeping forward to final day, every day can be my last. i have been fighting depression and suicidal feelings for 17 years now. but i have learned that if i can look forward to and be grateful for all the postives in my life no matter how small it makes life better.

and i try to just survive the pain and negative things in my life. i actively fight the suicidal thoughts and usually win. when i start to lose i reach out to stay safe. my life sucks but there are still good things in my life that makes life worth living...mike...

 

[KM76710]

Rants can be good, hopefully for you they are a way of letting off a bit of steam especially knowing that others are listening and are understanding. I have felt the same as you at times but in my case not suicidal as much as hoping for the end.

 

[Hopeiseverything]

at my age i'm creeping forward to final day, every day can be my last. i have been fighting depression and suicidal feelings for 17 years now. but i have learned that if i can look forward to and be grateful for all the postives in my life no matter how small it makes life better.

and i try to just survive the pain and negative things in my life. i actively fight the suicidal thoughts and usually win. when i start to lose i reach out to stay safe. my life sucks but there are still good things in my life that makes life worth living...mike...

17 years...wow...amazing...I commend you for hanging in there...you are brave

 

[1964dodge]

17 years...wow...amazing...I commend you for hanging in there...you are brave

thank you.

 

[Waves]

17 years? You been in chronic pain for 17 years?

 

[1964dodge]

17 years? You been in chronic pain for 17 years?

actually i've been in chronic pain for around 25 years. i became really depressed and suicidal around 17 years ago when i became disabled. i used to be a workaholic so becoming disabled killled me...mike

 

[Waves]

Surprised and saddened to hear that.