I live on my own, with an oblivious roommate. As soon as the friends leave, I'm so alone. I'm high and alone. I have loving parents and other family, but everyone is so wrapped up in their own world that I can't ask them to put it all aside for me. It's unfair to them. I should have control over my own life, but I simply don't. My ex boyfriend moved out three weeks ago. I've never been so deeply in love; never been in such a fucked up relationship. I literally feel my heart yearning for him. Others expect me to "get over it," but who am I to go to to do so? I'm supposed to do this all on my own and become a stronger person? What if I break? I'm not used to expressing my thoughts. I may be all over the place. I feel so much pain, and I find myself wishing that my ex would feel it as well. That's when I stumble into myself and wonder if it's really love. I think it's just heartbreak and the emotions that fall with it. I don't know who to go to anymore. I'm trying to refrain from mentioning SI, because I can't stand the feeling of being triggered. Goodness...If I wrote down everything rushing through my head regarding SI, it would be terrible to read myself later.