Every day is a crisis day.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Angrboda, Jun 15, 2010.

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  1. Angrboda

    Angrboda New Member

    I live on my own, with an oblivious roommate. As soon as the friends leave, I'm so alone. I'm high and alone. I have loving parents and other family, but everyone is so wrapped up in their own world that I can't ask them to put it all aside for me. It's unfair to them. I should have control over my own life, but I simply don't.

    My ex boyfriend moved out three weeks ago. I've never been so deeply in love; never been in such a fucked up relationship. I literally feel my heart yearning for him. Others expect me to "get over it," but who am I to go to to do so? I'm supposed to do this all on my own and become a stronger person? What if I break?

    I'm not used to expressing my thoughts. I may be all over the place.

    I feel so much pain, and I find myself wishing that my ex would feel it as well. That's when I stumble into myself and wonder if it's really love. I think it's just heartbreak and the emotions that fall with it.

    I don't know who to go to anymore.

    I'm trying to refrain from mentioning SI, because I can't stand the feeling of being triggered. Goodness...If I wrote down everything rushing through my head regarding SI, it would be terrible to read myself later.
     
  2. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Hey Angrboda, just wanted to say that you're not alone. Many people here are going through similar experiences, and we all understand the pain you must be in.

    I know how frustrating it is when people expect you to 'get over' being hurt like that. Although it is a common enough thing when a relationship breaks down, that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

    I'm probably one of the last people on Earth who should issue advice, so consider this given with a warning note that says "Caution! Crazy person!", but I think you would benefit from some sort of counselling. It may be difficult for you, but I think it would help you to get some things sorted in your head and maybe provide a way for you to move forward, as you deserve to. And it might help with the SI too, if you let it.

    Also, it seems that you feel that you don't deserve help, even from your family and friends. You do. Try to find the courage and confidence to ask for it. They care about you more than you think, and are probably desperate for you to let them help you.

    Anyway, I hope you at least feel a little less alone now. Keep posting here, get your thoughts out, it helps.

    Mim
     
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    all good advice there Angrboda.....I would have said roughly the same thing...
    I hope you'll keep talking to us as so many of us understand your pain...:hug:
     
  4. Angrboda

    Angrboda New Member

    Thank you Mim. I might slip and say "Mom" at some point, haha.
    I had counselling for about three years, and I never felt so clear-headed. I'm on state insurance, so I would have to look further into it to see if they offer counselling...

    "it seems that you feel that you don't deserve help"-- That's an incredible insight I haven't noticed of myself. Thank you.


    I look at myself in the mirror and can't believe that I signed up for this forum. But this is exactly the forum I should be on.
     
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