This is the first time I have ever been on a forum, and somehow I am convinced, no one will be able to help me. I am at a very dark place right now. I am truly fed up with EVERYTHING! Life is completely and utterly shit. A major disapointment, although, I have seen and done alot of things, like travelling and graduating from Uni. I do apprciate life, but maybe not my own. I feel I do not deserve to live. I try not to endulge in the way I feel but its hard not to. Everyone thinks I'm pathetic and craving attention, when its not all what I'm trying to do. What I really want to do is disapear into a black hole where no one can see me for years. One of the things I am mostly afraid of is if I see old school friends who are Oxford and Cambrdge University graduates boast about what they are doing next. I feel like a complete and utter failure. No one is truly there for me because no one truly understands me. I'm so screwed up from the day I was born. It was easier to deal with when I had a job, but now I dont have that. In my head it's just dark, I'm having a lot of bad dreams more frequently too. Just keep remembering all the things that are wrong with me. Sexually abused as a child No parental support or love, given only material things Abused about my weight by parents and outsiders Abused about my skin Never been out with a guy and I'm half way through my 20s Unemployed Still living with abusive mother thousands of pounds in debt No desire to groom, eg pluck eyebrows or shave armpits Domestic violence Most importantly, no one even respects anything I have to say. Nothing I do counts for anything to anyone I seem to have not a chance in hell to meeting anyone. Overeat Eating disorders.... I could go one. Tell me why I should go on????????????? There is nothing on this stupid planet.